I was in the break room drinking coffee today at work and out of no where I just started laughing out loud. One of my coworkers looked at me and asked "What's so funny?" I shook my head and said "Nothing... you wouldn't understand."
Did you ever have an obscured moment from your past just randomly jump inside your head? I had two today... and they happened almost simultaneously... hence the laugh out loud.
The first thing I thought about was the time at 426 when EP fell down the stairs. It's a seldom told story, but absolutely hilarious. Of course, you really had to be there, but you can all appreciated the magnitude of this event. It was such a loud noise, followed by about 30 minutes of gut-splitting laughter. It was a much like the time he fell through the shower current at 412... the only difference was more people saw it... and he had clothes on when he fell down the stairs... I think.
That made me think about the time EP, Kelly and Trisket drove to Connecticut in the middle of the night to see Trisket's obsession. So ridiculous....
But that led me to thinking about the time Schawb, Schmidt, Sara, and myself made a road trip to Indianapolis to see Melissa... aka "Mrs. Sas". It was such a random trip with a random group of people (actually Schawb is the only reason this would be considered a random grouping of individuals). Nonetheless, it got me thinking about college road trips in general.
Here's some of my favorites... in list format as per usual.... although the order doesn't matter because I'm just going to list them as they come to mind.
1. Daytona 2004.... enough said. My favorite part was dropping Garman off at McDonald's in the middle of South Carolina with the clear understanding that this may be the last time I ever see him again.
2. Schmidt, King, Leo, Walker, and Myself to Bowling Green... with a keg in the car. BG was on spring break, so no one was on campus but us... Only we would go to another campus while they are on spring break.
3. Daytona 20002... First in ... First out.... This is story to be told in person. My favorite moment was when we were getting kicked out of the hotel room. Walker was passed out on the bed with all kind of shit scatter about his person... by shit I mean a coffee maker, toaster, lamp shades, leg broken off the table... pretty much anything we could get a hold of. Meanwhile, there is about 4 cops and 4 Breakaway Tour staff and 1 hotel representative in the room telling us we have to be gone by 9:00 am. Leo and I are so geeked that we just keep laughing at each other... Schmidt is trying to convince the cops that there is no weed in the hotel room... at one time he is banging on his chest and yelling "Drug test me motherfucker". Leo threatens to kick the ass of one of the Breakaway Tour people if he ever sees him on campus.... an idle threat to say the least considering Breakaway Tours was based out of Canada. If I was getting laid every night, I really would have been a rock star that weekend.
4. I remember a random group of us going to see Dark Star Orchestra at Bogarts... it was like Todd Karas and his roomate Adam, Ep, Hippie, and myslef.
5. Dayton Dragons game... someone needs to fill in the details... I know I was there and for some reason I think we got free tickets from some bullshit Clarke was involved with. If my memory serves me correctly, I think Jill was quizzing some 10 year old on state capitals while we threw empty beast cans into the bullpen... That sounds about right... I'll stick with that story until I hear differently.
Someone tell some funny road trip stories or add to the one's I already listed.
5 comments:
Daytona 2000 - Brennan and I decided to go about 4 days beforehand, which meant we had to book our own hotel room, and not be an official part of the festivities (don't worry, we went to a party supply store and made our own fake bracelets). We bought Van Halen's 1984 on cassette as a gas station (I think Schwab bought porn). I still have the tape in my car as we speak (and I bet Schwab still has the porn). we drove an astounding 45 miles on E in the mountains on Tennessee in the dead of night. And we discovered the Pit Stop, the only bar that couldn't care less if we were 21 or not.
Indianapolis 2001 - It was a weeknight, and ben and dobmeier were going to a Ben Harper show. I was simply coming along to drop them off, and then visit with the family. But when I got home, there was a post-it note on the front door, telling me to go to the hospital. my family loves to give minimal information to possibly tragic situations.
Cleveland 2000 - Brennan and I drove to Cleveland to see the return of Weezer. I think tickets were $8, and there were about 400 people there. They came out to the Monday Night Football theme song. The show lasted about 45 minutes....and it was awesome.
Cincinnati 2001 - Only Brennan can break an ankle at a Modest Mouse concert
Cleveland 2001 - going to see the Strokes. I believe they played their first (and only at the time) album in order.
Tucson 2004 (this one is post-college) - It was my first spring break as a teacher, and brennan and ben picked me up in the rivie that had horns on the front. we hitched rides home by creey german guys that brennan wanted to invite in, and it was the first (and only) time i've been kicked out of a bar. bayer also had us listening to a lot of william hung for some reason
Just to clarify - the Dayton Dragons game was some free tickets I got from the Honors College as usual. There were like 10 people in my minivan and of course we put EP and Schmitt in the way back. We scraped the bottom all the way to the ballpark. We sneaked about 20 cans of beast into the stadium that day my friends. And yes, a young child was quizzed on state capitals. the Honors College gave us all free food.
The best post-college roadie would have to be San Diego 2005. Clarke, Basford, and I spent 2 nights at a hostel in Pacific Beach. Highlights include:
-Walking the boardwalk trying to determine which bum was most deserving of our leftover Hooter's wings.
-The initiation of the "Joke for a Smoke" program which eventually led us to actually being able to talk to 3 girls at a bar... one was a rabid racist, the other quickly became known as "the aging asian"... I can't remember the nickname of girl number 3, but I think she was one of those girls that inexplicably fall in love with Clarke instantaneously... in other words, she was an "Insaniac."
-We witnessed a street fight which we over-exaggeratingly refer to as "The Race Riots".
-We purchased pot from a drug dealer on the beach.
-Ended up going to the last Padres game ever at "The Murph" because of a failed attempt to get to Tijuana via bus. The 3 of us were waiting for like an hour for a bus that was never going to come... which is like a real living metaphor if you think about it metaphorically.
-Experienced the weirdest 30 minutes of my life when Clarke and I were in a stand-off between an 85 year old usher at the stadium who wouldn't let us back to our seats after we left to get fish tacos. I feel like this story has really never been given it's full credit.... I'm going to try an tell it properly now. It starts off like this... Clarke is talking all day long about how we have to try the fish tacos at Jack Murphy Stadium. It's a local classic... like Philadelphia's cheese steak. So around inning 3, Clarke and I go to find said tacos. After walking half way around the stadium, we finally find the taco stand and get 6 tacos and 3 beers and start making our way back to our seats. Now here's the thing... the game was technically sold out, but somehow when we got there, they had just made a couple hundred seats available on the "press level" of the stadium. This is important information to consider when picturing the setting of the story that is about to unfold. To get to the press level we had to take an elevator to level P which was on an empty concourse, meaning there were no vendors or beer stands... I don't think there were restrooms. It was simply a concourse behind the grandstand that provided access to small sections of seating that had about 5 rows each. When we got off the elevator, we were greeted by a man who wasn't a day younger than 85. Apparently, this man's job was to make sure that everyone getting off that elevator had a ticket or credentials allowing them to be on level P. I don't know how we circumvented this encounter the first time we went to our seats, but of course we didn't have our tickets with us this time. Here's the part that really makes this funny. There is NO ONE else around.... I mean NO ONE. It's only me, Clarke, and the old man. Neither one of us have cell phones to call Basford who ended up watching half the game alone because of this debacle, the old man doesn't have a walkie-talkie to phone his superior, there's not a soul within shouting distance... It's just the three of us. We try to plea our case, but the old man won't budge. Our beers are getting warm, our taco's are getting cold, and Sas is getting upset. We take a few steps back and re-evaluate our situation and decide that we could probably just walk right past him. Being individuals with such strong moral fortitude, Clarke and I couldn't mustard up the balls to just ignore the senial geriatric and proceed to our seats. Instead we stand there baffled by the situation for at least 20 minutes. Finally, another man gets off the elevator and attempts to gain passage to the forbidden concourse. Lacking the necessary credential, he to is denied by the stern old-timer. This new guy however could see the pathetic look of despair in Clarke's eyes and was determined to avoid the same fate. After about 30 seconds, the new guy just walks right on through while the Old Man does nothing. At this point, Clarke and I are beyond confused... Obviously we missed our oppurtunity to rise up against this tyrant and pursue our own happiness. Once again we, found ourselves alone with the Old Man trying to figure out our next move. For the next 10 minutes we begin to talk out loud so the Old Man can hear what we are plotting... We say things like "Let's just walk past him"... "What's he going to do?". Finally, we count to 3 and walk past him like strangers in a crowd. Expecting some kind of reaction, I turn around to see if the Old Man has even thought twice about what has just occurred. To my astonishment, he just kept pacing back and forth with his hands behind his back... not a care in the world. Like a cop walking the beat in heaven. His failure to recognize the magnitude of ridiculousness that was staged before his own eyes nags me to this day. I wish I could watch a survelience camera's footage of that half hour of my life. It really makes me wonder if kindness and weakness are one in the same. We finally get back to our seats around inning 5 and tell the story to a thoroughly unimpressed Basford who couldn't quite understand why an 85 year old man caused him to watch 3 innings of Padres / Rockies alone and without a beverage. In order to make the Radiohead concert that night, we had to leave around the 7th inning.... which leads us to the rest of this ridiculous day.
-Missing the bus to Mexico led us to taking a cab to the ballpark.... after the game we took the trolly as far south as we could and then took another cab to the concert venue which was a good 1 hour drive from our hostel at Pacific Beach. Did I mention that the 3 of us were all holding little white boxes?.... Well we were... and they were holding miniature replicas of Jack Murphy stadium that were handed out as a farewell gift to all the fans at the game. We were quite fond of this gift so when we were told that we couldn't bring them into the venue, we hid them in some shrubbery so we could recover them after the concert. After selling one of our extra tickets, we go to concert, smoke aforementioned pot, and enjoy an amazing set by the greatest band in the world. After leaving the concert the first thing we do is try to track down our hidden treasure, completely neglecting the fact that we are more or less in the middle of no where (Chula Vista isn't exactly a booming town) with no arrangements for transportation back to our hostel. There are no cabs in sight and even if there were, we were not going to pay for an hour long cab ride. In our infinate wisdom, we determined that there had to be some people that were driving back towards PB and that these people would have no problem giving a ride to 3 strangers holding unmarked white boxes. No such people exists... turns out that Radiohead fans don't trust people, are paranoid and skeptical to outsiders, and don't like surprises... weird. Anyways, after walking around the parking lot for like an hour yelling "Can anyone give me a ride to Pacific Beach... and my 2 friends with white boxes" we decided that maybe hitch hiking was our best bet. So we walked down to the exit of the parking lot and started thumbing it. Most people ignored us. A few people would ask "Where are you going" and upon hearing our request would simply reply "Good luck". Finally, an older couple, probably in their 50's were kind enough to take us home. Kind is an understatement... They were about the two nicest people I ever met... The guy looked like Bob Seger only fatter and more jovial then I would imagine Bob Seger being. They had children that were around our age, and his wife looked like she could have been any of our moms. You know the standard mom look... not a MILF... not ugly... just very momish. They went out of their way to take us back to our hostel listening to our ridiculous story of the day. They had a beer with us at a bar and then went home... if we could've done more than buy them a beer we would've ... they really helped us out that night.
-The weekend ended with us smoking pot on the beach that night recounting the days events.... and what a day it was...
I'm pretty sure I just set the record for the longest comment ever.... Garman, that is how you present your announcement authoritatively.
Sas
What can I say SaS I was going to post a comment about one of my crazy ass road trips but who can follow that act? Well Done Sir Well Done
Sas, you have me crying from laughter after reading that post. bravo!
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