Esteemed partners in stupidity,
I can't believe I didn't check this blog in almost a month. I'd like to say I've been so busy I didn't have time, but honestly, I haven't done shit in the last few weeks. I mean, I get paid to do the crossword puzzle and take naps right now (since I have a student teacher). You will probably get a laugh out of the fact that I am officially in a "Biggest Loser" competition with a bunch of teachers at our school. Everyone threw in $50 and whoever loses the highest percentage of lard wins the pot (as in kitty/jackpot/reward...not the other kind). We started on spring break and after about a month, my fat ass is in first place! So the most time consuming thing I've been doing lately is NOT eating and NOT drinking an entire case every weekend.
I make no excuse for my absence, especially after getting called out by Sas after the longest blog comment of all time (I felt like I was reading a Star Wars introduction as the lines just kept scrolling and scrolling and scrolling). However, I did have a few insights on the last few blogs to share...
1. The Dayton Dragons "Roadtrip"--First, does this qualify as a "roadtrip"? If that's the case, then anytime we went in a car to a bar qualifies, which opens up a staggering array of hilarious stupidity. Secondly, this game was the first time I ever hung out with my wife...I actually participated in the quizzing of the youth. In fact, Jill claims to have found it endearing that I was "good with kids". Jill and I considered this day our "anniversary" until we got married (she did because that's when she started "liking me", I did because it was the first time I realized I could hook up with her!) And as far as being "good with kids", we usually fail to mention that I was hammered and drinking beer in front of the kids during the quiz session. At any rate, I'm glad to have this day recognized by everyone...a truly landmark day in my personal UD experience.
2. The Crime Log--Cos, in your update to your post, you state that the editoral is "complaining" about the repetetiveness of the crime logs. While he does to some extent, don't overlook the last paragraph:
"Crime logs of the past focused less on repeating bland incident reports and included reports of a home that was burglarized for Milwaukee’s Best beer valued at $2.50, a student who complained about receiving calls from an unknown male who sounded like “the Terminator” and a suspicious individual outside a home who asked “residents for change and received a Capri Sun juice box.”
In essence, this kid is saying: the crime log used to be even more over-the-top-idiotic. He actually wants MORE humor.
Side note--his first example of a burglarized Beast probably refers to the time Jill single-handedly fought off an Emmitt Smith-jersey wearing, crackhead burglar who tried to steal her laptop and 3 cans of beast.
Lastly, let me reiterate, you all should come to the reunion weekend at UD in June. Jill and I have a 2 bedroom suite reserved so there will be plenty of room to crash. I think Costello and possible Doobie will be in attendance. EP? Any other takers? Give me a call if you have any interest. (Katie Clark is getting married that weekend too...we could all crash it!)
I'll make sure I check back more often and try to step my game up to approach the level of his Royal Blogness, Sas Q. Watch.
-AG-
Hey J.D. Salinger, er, Basford, throw up a post once would ya?
2 comments:
I just finished participating in a "Biggest Loser" competition at work. The owner sponsored the event and set reward prizes of $1,000 for 1st, $750 for 2nd, and $500 for third.... of course I came in fourth by about 0.5% and received no cash money. However I went from a ridiculously overweight 190.5 lbs down to 166.5 lbs in 10 weeks. For reference I weighed around 175-180 in college. I'm back up to about 175 right now... but just started training for the San Diego Marathon, so hopefully the weight will come off again.
Garman, I never knew that Dragons game was the start of Jill and Aaron. Your right, that really doesn't count as a roadie. But it reminds me of another story... remember when we went to one of Schmidt's hockey games? The only people I remember being there are Garman, Jill, EP, and Myself... who else? I remember playing "Slap the Bag" in the back of someone's mini van. EP, remember that was the night when you noticed that I only shaved half of my moustache. Drunk/stoned shaving.... you'll have that.
Touche sas I had almost forgotten about that but its a priceless story that never gets old. But you left the best part out of the story remember when after the game everyone left and we waited for schmidt and as it turned out he had locked his keys in his car. Being that this was before the days when everyone had a celly in their pocket at all times, so our best plan of action was to try to break the window... which after schmidt bounced a very large rock off the window several times without success we decided wasn't meant to be and went back in and call a locksmith. aahhhhh the glory days!!!!!!!
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