Vegas Super Bowl Top Nine Moments

I'm not intending to rub it in Garman's face, but this was the best trip to Vegas I've ever had and that's saying a lot considering it was at least my 8th trip. As per usual, I like to relive stories with lists.

9) My Sas is on Fire

Like I said, this was the best Vegas trip ever. #9 on this list is a tribute to all the personal records I set this trip... some of these records will be referenced again later on this list.

Personal records Sas set this trip....

Most lap dances
Most money won gambling
Most tequila drank
Most expensive meal
Longest consecutive drinking binge without sleeping

Quite impressive that I can have all those personal best in one trip, so I'm certain you all will enjoy this list which mostly features the following: Craps, Strippers, and Drinking.

8) Skanks on the Plane

I've flown from Orange County to Vegas on a Friday night on couple occasions, but I've never been on a flight that had more strippers. I love the flight from the OC to Sin City because it's only an hour and people are so chatty and excited to go to Vegas. I heard 3 or 4 girls sitting behind me talking about the strip clubs they were working, but the best situation was occurring in the 2 seats right next to me. There was an old (like 50 years) man sitting next me with this girl who was obviously a stripper/escort/prostitute. She was all over this guy the entire trip and she was quite attractive. I know shew was being paid because she knew nothing about this guy... she was asking questions like: what do you do for a living? Are you married? Have you ever been married?... etc.

More about strippers later on the list.

7) Meat is Murder.... but delicious none the less

In order to save money for gambling/drinking/strippers, I usually eat at cheap places like Chipotle (twice this weekend) or Denny's (see #2 on this list). This trip we tried something different. After everyone arrived Saturday, we went to dinner at a place in Mandalay Bay called The Rum Jungle. This is not the type of event I usually partake in during my Vegas experiences, but it was totally worth it. It was a Brazilian style steakhouse and for $45 dollars we got an endless supply of various meat dishes that were all delicious. After we had more than our fill, we gambled for a bit at MB before taking a limo back to our hotels (Imperial Palace of Flamingos). Definitely worth the money... I may start doing the fine dining thing in Vegas more often.

6) A Story about Pomegranates

Anyone who has ever rode in a taxi with Basford knows he enjoys conversing with the cabbies. Likewise, most cabbies have ridiculous stories and seem to enjoy confining in Basford.  On the way from Imperial Palace to Mandalay Bay, Clarke, Costello, and I were in the back of the taxi van having our own conversation, so we couldn't really hear what was going on in the front seat. All we know is that when we got out of the cab, Basford handed the driver our fare and said "Good luck with those pomegranates." There's more to the story, but you will have to ask Basford.

5) Late Night Craps Run

After getting our 4th wind around 4:00 am Sunday night/Monday morning, Clarke and I decided the only way we could make our flights departing at 10:30 am was to stay up all night playing craps.  It started out with Clarke, Basford, and I on a table not really winning or losing, just staying a float.  We did have a hot cocktail waitress named Tiffany who served us at least 4 white russians each.   One time I said "Thank you sir" to her as she handed me my drink, then I mistakenly tried to explain myself by saying "It was a Freudian Slip" which obviously makes no sense.  She responded by asking me "Did you just come out of the closet there?"  Impressed by her quick wit, I decided I wanted to marry her right there, but she wouldn't have it.  Because it was so late, they closed the table we were at and moved us to another table.  At this point, Basford had turned in and it was just Clarke and I and couple other players.  Again we were just barely staying afloat and drinking irish coffee.  Eventually, all the other players left the table and it was just Clarke and I.  So Clarke went to one end of the table and I went to the other so we would be throwing at each other.  I wish I could say this was when our luck changed and Clarke and Sas took all of Mr. Palace's money, but it wasn't... we continued to do nothing but stay afloat.   In walks our Canadian saviors.  Two guys from the North Country who have never played craps before caused the table to catch fire.   One guy rolled for like 1/2 hour.... another group of college age dudes joined us and they caught fire.   By the time 7:30 rolled around, we were up like $400 each.  This led to me changing my flight from 10:30 am to 8:45 pm... which turned out to be the best decision I ever made (See #1).

4) The Strip Club Incident

This is inappropriate to talk about... even on this blog.  If you want to hear the story, you can ask me in person.  Or you can ask Basford, his version of the story is probably funnier than mine.

3) Bad Decision Friday

Only Clarke, Costello, and I were in Vegas on Friday night.  By the time we arrived and checked in, it was like 10:00 pm.  We drank whisky and beer for a few hours in the room while and got caught up on things.  I think we went out around midnight and hit the blackjack table for a bit.  Imperial Palace has black jack dealers who dress like famous singers and perform on a small stage.... It's a pretty cool shtick for a crappy casino.  After a losing stint dealt my Michael Jackson (who looked more like Jack White) we decided to go get drunk. 

Bad decision #1:

We go to a club/bar at Imperial Palace.  Lamest club ever.  Immediately after paying the cover and walking through the door, we wanted to leave.  Trying to save some face, we do a shot at the bar.... then leave after being there for about 30 seconds.  Clarke tried to get his money back by explaining to the bouncer that he had epilepsy.  

Bad decision #2:

Still not as drunk as we need to be, we decide to go to the outside bar at Harrah's.  Clarke, wasting little time, goes to the bar and orders 3 foot margarita's for each of us.  These drinks are not made for one person to drink alone.  The bar tender opens a fresh bottle of tequila and splits it evenly as he pours are drinks... then opens another bottle to top us off.  Our jaws are on the floor as we watch the bartender make these deadly concoctions.  These drinks messed our worlds up.  I was playing blackout blackjack betting $50 a hand until the dealer pointed out Clarke that my eyes were close.   Costello, left like an hour before Clarke and I, but when we made it back to the room at 6:00 am, Costello wasn't there.... He got lost trying to find Imperial Palace.... which is right next door to Harrah's.   I don't remember any of this, I thought we played blackjack at Imperial Palace all night... I forgot we were at Harrah's myself... so I can see how you can get lost.  Let that be a lesson Costello, don't leave early if you are blacked out.

2) A Display of Maturity and Class

Basford had a moustache (class) and puked on the sidewalk in front of Denny's as people walked by a (maturity).  This occurred after Costello went to bed and before the late night craps run (See #5).  We decided to go to Denny's and as we were waiting for our table, I was reminiscing on the first time the 3 of us went to Vegas and how we went to Denny's at the cheapest casino on the strip (Casino Royale).  I had just mentioned how we haven't progressed much in the 5 years between that first trip and our current trip.  On cue, Basford mumbles some gibberish, leads over the rail, and pulls the trigger.  Clarke and I could barely stand up because we were laughing so hard. 

1) Greatest Craps Story Ever

This story is unreal.... I can't explain it properly in writing.   All you need to know is the following:

Basford and I were at a $10 craps table killing time before our flights on Monday and left the table with over $2,000 each... and if we knew what were doing, it would've been way more.

Every player at the table left with several thousand dollars each.... several.

This was because of two hilarious middle-aged asian men and their elderly senile mother.  Between the 3 of them, the won about $40,000!!!!  They rolled the dice for about an hour each.

There were 3 pit bosses watching and they had to bring out more chips to re-stock the table.

I love craps!!!!! 

I LOVE VEGAS!!!!