eWall of Crap

They, They're Awesome

2011-05-26T21:21:00.001-04:00

So our boy KB's band (You, You're Awesome) has released his band's first Long Player (Good Point, Whoever Said That). I downloaded it on Monday. I couldn't stop listening to it on Tuesday. I went back and bought it on Wednesday. I blogged about it on Thursday. I'm still deciding what album-related activity I'll do tomorrow.

I've thought about how to describe the album, and why it's struck such an immediate chord with me, and I've settled on this: it's like the Go! Team without the cheerleader chants. Go ahead, Bayer. Put that on the little gold sticker they put on albums.

I admit, it's certainly not up to the standards set by Mathom House back in our UD days. I mean, come on. Those guys were able to hang with Mayor Goldie Wilson and their Jimmy Eat World covers!

But for now, I'm just going to encourage the dozen of readers of the eWall (nope, not dozen...there's an even 12 of us) to get the album. I've even got a list of activities each of us can do while enjoying the music:

Ben - Nothing says first dance as man and wife like a track called "Let's Be Villains Together."

Basford - Get a couple of these tracks on the mixtape I assume you're painstakingly making for Vegas.

Dobmeier - If Basford follows my instructions, you'll have no trouble staying awake in Sin City.

Barger - Give a copy to Will Smith or Lebron or Gloria Estefan. But not Chris Bosh. He wouldn't get it.

Bayer - Use this as leverage to connect with Jenny Lewis, to bond over both being 80's film stars turned indie rock stars.

Sas - This album will increase your push-up count by 30% at least.

Walker - Blast it from a boom box from the infield at the Indy 500. I hope to be getting the traditional incoherent phone calls from you this weekend.

Devin - Look no further. You've found the inspiration/soundtrack for Freehold 2.

EP - Stop being lazy and ride a bike or something. This music should get you going. I mean, Basford, Behler, and I half-ass it across a random state each summer on our bikes (well....I drive my car....but that's like 40 minutes of driving a day. Exhausting!). Maybe you'd be able to accomplish something similar. Maybe.

Aaron - I'm sure you can find some excuse to play it during class.

Jill - Next time you talk to Usher, you can play it cool and be all like "Whatever, I know the dude from You, You're Awesome, and they got some mad beatz." Find some way to make it clear that you're putting a "z" in beats.

Clare - Put the headphones on your belly. Maeve will dance her way out.

Most importantly, this'll make the week separating us from Ben's bachelor party in Vegas fly by!

Freehold Trailer

2011-03-28T23:29:00.000-04:00

Yep. Freehold Trailer.

Freehold Trailer from andy trimbach on Vimeo.

2010 Denver NYE

2011-01-03T19:43:00.000-05:00

This year, while Dobmeier was once again hosting Baltimore’s best New Year’s Eve party at the Pub Dog, I decided to see why everyone seems to be flocking to Denver as of late. Amy and I took off from Indy just before disaster struck, played Scrabble on her Kindle to pass the time in the Kansas City airport (did you know that quey is a word?!), and touched down in Denver on Thursday afternoon.

From there, much of what we’ve all come to expect from UD mini-reunions: drinking by noon, listening to Sas’ iPod in a hotel room, Brennan spending 15 minutes on a pointless story that he’s told 20 times. But despite all that, a great time was had by all. Here are some highlights:

Brennan’s Gumbo

Thursday night, Amy and I stayed at Brennan and Haley’s place. Their new neighbor Sas came by too. Sadly, we brought the snow from Indy with us and so Ben and Tory weren’t able to partake in the gumbo goodness. But don’t worry. It wasn’t a completely adult dinner party. Brennan still told the popsicle dick story, even though everyone but Amy had already heard it (and no one wanted to hear it again). Here’s the delicious gumbo recipe, patent pending:

1/2 white onion
1 bell pepper
3 pieces celery
3 cloves garlic
1 1/2 TBS butter
2 TBS flour
1/2 tsp sea salt
black pepper 10 twists
32 oz chicken stock
1 can diced tomatoes 19.5 oz
2 bay leaves
2 tsp Old Bay seasoning
1/2 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp thyme
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp oregano
1 1/2 cup water
1 link Andouille sausage
1 link hot Italian sausage
1/2 lb crab legs
1 lb shrimp

The Plumber’s NYE party

Friday morning, we awoke to standing water in the kitchen…then we waited 4 hours for a plumber…then the plumber had to knock a hole in the wall…then Brennan handed the plumber the keys to his apartment and a beer from the fridge…then we left the plumber in the apartment alone for the remainder of New Year’s Eve. Roto Rooter – a name you can trust!

Rooftop

Ben used his plethora of soon-to-be-expired travel points to get a couple rooms at a downtown Denver hotel, and thanks to some detective work by Sas and Brennan, we were able to gain access to the roof just in time to see the fireworks, which were launched from the building next door. We were 8 floors up in -8 degrees and it was totally worth it.

Sas’ Walk Home

We went to a bar called the Ginn Mill (which we insisted on calling the Gin Blossoms) and it was packed to the brim, which encouraged our quick departure not long after midnight (also encouraging our quick departure – Brennan puking in the alley). But soon after we got outside, Sas disappeared. When we got back to the hotel, he was nowhere to be found…until he called. And for the next 30 minutes or so, I screamed “What intersection are you at?” while he would give me intersections like “18th and Chili’s” or “15th and Wells Fargo” until he’d forget he was talking to me altogether and put his phone in his pocket without hanging up. You’ll get his recap in the video below.

UD Basketball

Ugh. Is there anything more frustrating than watching the Flyers? When it went into the 2nd overtime, I opted to pack my suitcase rather subject myself to another 5 minutes of watching us suck slightly less than New Mexico. But, at the end of New Year’s Day, we were 1/5 of Sportscenter’s Top Plays.

So, fellow Denver attendees, what did I forget?

And what was everyone else’s NYE like?

Best Music Videos of 2010

2010-12-20T00:36:00.002-05:00

It's that time of year again. I'm sure you've been anxiously awaiting the countdown of the year's best music videos. I believe this will be my 4th (2007, 2008, 2009). And while we still have a week or so left in 2010, I'm confident that no one will make a good one in that time. It's safe to post this.

Luckily, the internets has picked up the torch that MTV and VH-1 abandoned for pregnant teenagers and rehab shows. The #1 video of the year, as you'll see, epitomizes the influence that the internet (a.k.a. the only place to see music videos now) has had on the medium.

So let's get to it! I give you the 15 best music videos of 2010:

#15: David Crowder Band "SMS [Shine]"

Remember when you were 7 and you had used up all the templates that came with your Lite-Brite? And you came up with your own design? Didn't you feel like such an artist? Well, after watching this video, you'll realize that the smiley-face sun you made was crap. Check out the "making of" feature here.

#14: TIE between Local Natives "World News" and Mumford & Sons "The Cave"

I don't know which band came up with the idea of resort hotel staff lip dubbing their song first...but I think we can agree that they BOTH stole their aesthetic from Wes Anderson films.

#13: Broken Bells "The Ghost Inside"

I prefer this fan-made video to the official video, which is pretty great in it's own right. But come on. Hall & Oates! That beats the chesty gal from Mad Men in a sci-fi tragedy any day.

#12: The Boy Least Likely To "George and Andrew"

While we're on the 80's male pop duos kick, let's talk about Wham!.Not since the cast of Seinfeld fictionally reunited on Curb Your Enthusiasm has a fictional reunion...well, ever happened. And what a coincidence that Andrew is still wearing his "Choose Life" shirt!

#11: Hanson "Thinking "Bout Something"

You're damn right I'm putting a Hanson video on the list. Deal with it. It's sort of a cross between a homage to pawn shop scene in The Blues Brothers and the parade scene from Ferris Beuller's Day Off. Plus Weird Al is inexplicably playing the tambourine! I dare you not to love this video.

#10: Ted Leo & the Pharmacists "Bottled In Cork"

TC wrote about this a while back. I'll let his review do the talking.

#9: Janelle Monáe (feat. Big Boi) "TightRope"

This is more about the song than the video. Still, both One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and It's Kind Of a Funny Story would have been well served to have an asylum dance-off.

#8: B.o.B. (feat. Rivers Cuomo) "Magic"

This was my favorite pop song of 2010. I still love it. And the video is just as good. Sexy Fruity Pebbles in the bathroom. Bizarro Being John Malkovich-like plot. Rivers Cuomo wearing a puffy vest from 2001. Classic.

#7: Cee Lo Green "Fuck You"

I'm not the biggest fan of the Happy Days-ish video. I prefer the text-only version. There's something mesmerizing about it (did you know that the third "oooo" in the chorus is spelled 4 "o"s, not 3?!).I mean, honestly, this song is clearly about the words. Oh, and you have to check out Whitney Avalon's reply, "Clearly Obsessed"

#6: Ok Go "This Too Shall Pass"

Of course they're on the list. And while I have a soft spot for their alternative version that features and is played by the Notre Dame Marching Band, you just can't beat a Rube Goldberg machine. It's the rules.

#5: Kanye West "Runaway"

I've been rooting for Kanye. He gets picked on my bullies like Taylor Swift and Matt Lauer. Jerks. And yet, while everyone else is declaring his new album the best of the year, I've been left a bit disappointed. Still, his short film about a Phoenix falling from the sky (and a giant paper mache Michael Jackson head?) is epic indeed.

#4: Arcade Fire "The Suburbs"

From the best album of 2010 (my opinion...sorry Kanye), and the best music video director around (my opinion...sorry Hype Williams), this video reminds me of the climactic scene in E.T., but without that older brother with the giant nostrils...or the iconic red hoodie...or the alien.

#3: The Black Keys "Tighten Up"

I first saw them when they opened for Guided By Voices NYE show in Indianapolis in 2002 or so. This year, the Black Keys have deservedly blown up. And as adorable as the kids are in the video, I think my favorite moment is the sage advice given in the first few seconds...that when your playmate partner smells like ranch dressing, you just hold your breathe or something.

#2: Vampire Weekend "Giving Up the Gun"

So many great things in this video. RZA reffing tennis. Joe Jonas wiping his hand off after his post-loss handshake. Evil Jake Gyllenhaal taking a swig of booze before and during his match. Coach Lil' Jon. The flaming tennis racket. The boom box playing "Holiday." It took a technological spectacle at #1 to knock this out of the top spot.

#1: Arcade Fire "We Used to Wait"

I've probably watched this video using roughly 20 different locations. If you're unfamiliar, you start at the video's website

. You enter an address, preferably your childhood home, to get the most of the nostalgic/tragic/creepy feel they're aiming for. And then you watched a hooded figure run around your old haunt while trees begin to sprout. It's nuts/awesome.

The BroBible..... We did it!!!!!

2010-12-01T16:30:00.003-05:00

In my current unemployed state, I spend a lot of time on the interweb trying to entertain myself. So I googled "lowe's fest" and came up with a couple of interesting links.

According to the website www.brobible.com, "Every Bro Has A Story".... truer words were never spoken.

Follow this link to their website containing a list of the Best College Spring Parties.

http://www.brobible.com/Story/102193

Also interesting is the Urban Dictionary's definition of Lowe's Fest. Where do they get this information from? This definition sounds like a combination of Lowe's Fest and Homecoming.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Lowesfest

I also found a article in the Flyer News regarding the 7th annual M-Fest. So both Lowe's Fest and M-Fest are still going on today... I think our class left it's mark.

MOVEMBER is it real?

2010-11-27T21:19:00.002-05:00

I was just informed of Movember.... I thought all of you mustached men would be interested. Apparently this foundation has raised millions upon millions for cancer. How come I have never heard of this? Anyway do I hear a Fall mustache ride next year?

Bad Idea Show Review: Pitchfork Music Festival in Union Park

2010-07-22T18:32:00.000-04:00

My painstakingly researched annual Pitchfork Music Festival review has been posted over at my other blog, complete with pictures, videos, links, and an obscene amount of analogies to Back To the Future. Enjoy!

Bicycles Galore!

2010-06-27T10:54:00.000-04:00

So I'm not here to judge which of these bike trips is more inspirational and worthwhile. Or which is based on immature stupidity. I think they speak for themselves.

On the one hand, you have EP. He's more or less single-handedly created an organization and network of sponsors to help him ride his bike from northern Alaska to southern Florida. He and Azure quit their jobs and how reside (yes, as in residence) in the journey's van. And he's doing it all to raise awareness for mental health. If you haven't started following his blog yet, you need to do that. If you haven't donated to his trek, you need to do that NOW.

On the other hand, I will once again be accompanying Behler and Basford (and their moustaches) as they ride their bikes from Cincinnati to Chicago, stopping at Indiana breweries each night. I say "accompanying" because I won't be riding a bike. That's crazy. I'll be driving a car. Packing their lunches. Bartering with motel clerks. Stuff like that. Our trip will conclude when we arrive at the Reds v. Cubs game at Wrigley on the afternoon of July 2nd. You can follow our travels here.

Again, I'm not going to say which trip is more worthwhile. Apples and oranges.

Something I Noticed

2010-05-15T16:30:00.003-04:00

If you go to UD's housing website and click on the "Current Students" link, you will be directed to a page with the above picture:

I have a couple thoughts.

1) How on earth do the powers-that-be choose this group of people for this website??? I mean, this was the same house that had a girl nearly fall to her death out of one of the windows. The same house that organized the biggest block party of the year which still is celebrated every year. The same house that was nearly evicted by UD Housing for throwing said party. The same house that broke so many windows that the maintenance people started to ignore our calls. I remember one time we had a maintenance guy at our house fixing a window, and right as he was finishing up and about to leave, another window in our kitchen was broke by a potato throwing incident. The maintenance guy's response to this: "You know I'm not fixing that, right?". So we plugged the hole in the window with a couch cushion and waited till next semester to call maintenance again. This is the same house in which we all stayed upstairs for like a month because the family room was ruined by vomit... which wasn't cleaned for like a month.

2) Look at me in this picture.... and then look at me in the 7-Meyer floor picture freshman year. Apparently my "Go To" when posing for pictures is to grab my left wrist with my right hand... who knew?

3) I think EP is stoned

4) I miss King

A KING Amongst Men

2010-05-04T20:58:00.006-04:00

Like everybody else this week, I'm at a loss for words. And like everybody else this week, I've been sifting through all my UD pictures. Enjoy this special trip down memory lane. We love you, King.

Note how King always seemed to be at the center of all the action!

7 Meyer freshman year

Junior year

no clue

in Louisville

the rest come from the DeFago wedding

MIKE THORNE. A KING AMONGST MEN.

MHANTS Ride!!!

2010-04-26T23:10:00.006-04:00

Well I know that there were more than a few of you who considered my idea to ride from Prudhoe Bay to Key West, just another crazy EP idea/drunk comment. While I agree it is crazy, it is actually going down. The website is up and people can donate directly to SAVE thru a link on my site. Don't worry its sends you to their site not mine so rest assured your money will not go to wipits. Anything you can donate is appreciated... however it's much more important for you to help me spread the word.

Check out the site and send it to anyone and everyone you know.

www.mhants.com

I need all of your help to make this a fundraiser a success. Please tell everyone you know and send the website out to everyone in your address book. I will be calling some of you in different parts of the country, asking that you try to get a few local establishments to put up posters. I will send you the posters... bike shops, restaurants, and bars have been really receptive to the idea here in Virginia.

Devin now that people know I am actually doing this thing maybe the bets will start to roll in; on if I can actually pull this thing off.

Barger's Wedding: Romance in the Rubber City

2010-04-23T21:12:00.019-04:00

The last wedding that we all went to in Akron....well.....this happened:

Thankfully, they have yet to restock the grocery with whip cream, so whip-it-palooza wouldn't be repeated. We were lucky enough to stay that the DeFago Family Hotel & Casino, which comes complete with a nightly viewing of Freehold (yes, we watched it Friday and Saturday night), a kegerator with microbrew on tap, and the most beautiful bedding linens you've ever seen:

But I digress. Adam and Lauren's wedding was destined to be the hippest of the hip. And they did not disappoint. Everyone at the ceremony gets to touch the rings? Hip. Touring an art gallery while dinner gets set up? Hip. Seating assignments placed in clumps of grass? Well, I'm not quite sure what that was all about. Still, it was a great weekend, and here are just 5 of the greatest moments that the weekend brought:

#1: $1 Bets at the Bowling Alley

Of course, the Bargers have to bowl before the walk down the alley...I mean aisle. By the time we go there, it was time for a Costello v. Dobmeier v. Basford v. DeFago v. Clarke challenge. Everyone put in $1, and to the victor went the spoils (and by spoils I mean $4). I took the first game. Basford took game 2. But the real challenge came on our way out, when we noticed a boxing machine in the arcade. Once again, we put our dollar bills on the line. Who could punch the hardest. Now, of course, looking at our line-up, punching the "hardest" is a relative term. Despite Devin's excellent form and Dobmeier's follow-through (completely through....see the pics below), I apparently am the one to turn to if we get in an Akron brawl (855 points, what?!).

#2: Pink Ties

As we boys were getting ready in the DeFago basement, we noticed that both Ben and Brennan brought pink ties, and Devin had two in his arsenal. So, of course, we all had to wear pink ties to the wedding. I'm not quite sure what we expected. Sure, we expected people to look at us, probably scoff at us, but we didn't expect the ties to be such a hit with a certain bridesmaid. At some point, a circle formed on the dance floor, and we had to give Lauren and her girl what they wanted: a dance with the pink tie guys!

#3: Commodores+1

The living room proudly bore a poster of the Commodores. And on graduation day in 2003, the 301 boys even more proudly reenacted that album cover. And on the Barger's wedding day, we couldn't have been more proud to add Lauren to the pose!

#4: Nice. Kiss. Bad Ass. Fight.

There are 4 ideal emotions to convey during a wedding booth photo session.

NICE

KISS

BAD ASS

FIGHT!

#5: Lockview

The legendary DeFago brothers led us to the Lockview each night for our nightcap. The first night, we unseated the bar's owner for a prime seat. After the wedding, we led the bar staff in a signalong to "Forever In Blue Jeans." We garnished shots of tequila with hot sauce and/or tomato juice. But the highlight by far was Basford's attempt at some sort of chair trick. Once Marvin Gaye's "Got To Give It Up (Part 1) hit the jukebox, he was ready to go. In the video below, you'll hear Basford ask the waitress if he can do it. He then clarifies that he's not asking for permission. He just wants to know if she thinks he's capable. He was.....barely.

A great weekend. If only Don Mattingly could have been there.

Here'a a sweet video put together by Adam and Lauren's photographer:

EP's wedding

2010-03-25T22:47:00.010-04:00

You know, the entire weekend that was EP's wedding was surreal. While it was an event we never expected (who would have guessed not only that EP would get married, but that he'd marry a sweet, beautiful, completely normal girl?!), much of the weekend was fairly predictable. I'm always amazed (and sort of impressed) at how easily we all revert back to our 21-year-old selves. Though, maybe it's not reverting at all. We just haven't grown up since college.

Anyway, these are my top 5 (in no particular order) moments from the weekend, along with some pictures. I'm assuming/demanding that others will offer their own recap/blogs/pictures/videos as well.

Moment #1: EP's Dancing

- On Sunday, EP and I were talking about his stellar dancing. It's something we've all seen time and time again. I mentioned that all of my pictures from previous UD weddings are about 70% EP. He always steals the show. But he pointed out that he didn't steal this show. It was HIS show. Still, let's take a quick trip through EP's dancing history:

Daytona:

DeFago wedding:
Garman wedding:
his own wedding:

Moment #2: EP living up to his nickname

Garman sent me a picture text when he got to Virginia Beach. It was a sign listing various rules, including the city's ordinance against foul language. The irony of EP living in an area that gives tickets for explicit language was not lost. From barging into Mahi Mah's dining room to tell us "assholes to get [our] asses into the reception because [he] was sweating his balls off in an office" to threatening to "kill the fucking DJ for not getting the correct version of "Crazy Love"," I couldn't tell if EP's foul language has increased, or I've just missed having it in my daily life. Either way, it was music to my ears.

Moment #3: Fr. laying the smackdown on the photog

Not many priests can seamlessly weave the berating of someone doing their job between the gospel and the homily. Oh wait....it wasn't seamless....it created the most awkward moment EVER!

Moment #4: Brennan comes out

Brennan says what he feels, even when it makes Haley question their future together. Brennan word-vomited all weekend long regarding Chris Leonetti. The more he tried to explain, the deeper and more gay the hole he dug. Ew.

"Chris really grew into himself. He used to be so.....soft.....and dirty." So clearly, Brennan is implying that Chris is now hard and clean? Ew.
"No, I just mean I never imagined ever saying Chris Leonetti was handsome, but he is." So again, Brennan implies that (a) at some point in the past, he wondered if he'd ever find Chris handsome and (b) had decided that no, he would not and (c) changed his mind upon seeing him this weekend. Ew. Sorry, Haley.

Moment #5: Midnight swimmers

Sara was the first to bolt for the shoreline.....and she just kept running. I guess that's what happens when you get some freedom from the kids. You just want to run and run and never come back. And then Devin and Walker decided to join the fun. Friday in D.C., Walker lost his contacts. Saturday, he lost his glasses. Who knew that disrobing on a beach lit only by the moon and diving in would cause him to misplace them. Whatever, he had a ducky t-shirt on, so he was cool. And Devin decided to do a little elvin dance to celebrate!

Best Music Videos of 2009

2010-01-13T20:48:00.001-05:00

I did it in 2007. I did it in 2008. And, though a bit belated, I now bring you the top videos of 2009 (remember that year, back when Conan hosted The Tonight Show?).

I decided to narrow it down to only 10 this time around (I'm not late and lazy with my blog!). No particular order here.

The Avett Brothers – “Slight Figure of Speech”

The first time I saw this, I assumed it came from FunnyorDie.com. This video doesn’t acknowledge its existence as a music video, or even the band, until 2 minutes in. Before that, it’s a collection of VHS dubs from someone who was fascinated by QVC. I’m sorry, TAB. Once the band shows up to hawk their CD, it’s not long before they opt to destroy the studio, for motives unknown. Best line from the host: “It’d look pretty weird to see a guy cleaning.”

Grizzly Bear – “Two Weeks”

Ok. I think the creepiness of this video comes from the eyes being slightly larger than they typically are in proportion to the rest of the face. Sort of like if Simpson characters were actual flesh and blood. It utilizes slow motion, which as you’ll see from this list, I’m obsessed with. AS they video continues, you try to pinpoint what’s going on. Are they angels? Are they just really bashful? Are they radioactive? Oh, of course. They’re robots.

Jookabox – “You Cried Me”

Jookabox = Indianapolis’ next great hope to conquer Europe! This video is the what happen when a Scooby Doo episode, a Charlie Brown special, and Radiohead's “Paranoid Android” video do mushrooms and make a baby. And if you like this, you’ll love “Don’t Go Phantom,” which is what happens when The Nightmare Before Christmas, Pacman, and the opening credits of Pee-Wee’s Playhouse do ecstasy and make a baby.

Matt & Kim - “Lessons Learned”

I listened to Matt & Kim’s Grand quite a bit in 2009. But somehow I missed this video until a few weeks ago. I was slightly fascinated with Kim…..until this video…..that took care of that. I just watch this, imagining the Naked Cowboy watching Matt & Kim do what he’s been half-assing for years in Times Square. Come on, Naked Cowboy. You’re clearly not a cowboy, but everyone can be naked. Oh, and don’t stop watching until you see what happens the last three seconds. It comes out of nowhere.

Depeche Mode – “Wrong”

TC wrote about this one (and a couple others) earlier in the year. All I know is that when I watch it, I’m disoriented. Is the car going backwards? Is the video being played backwards? Are my eyes going backwards? Oh, of course. It’s Jason Voorhees, trapped in an automated car. Doy.

Lenny Kravitz – “Let Love Rule” (Justice Remix)

OK. If had to rank one of these my fav, this is it! I’ve got three sweet spots: (1) Lenny Kravitz songs that embrace his Beatles impression, (2) Justice, and (3) Back to the Future!!! Marty McFly guns down some dude, gets the girl, and the credits start rolling….until they get caught on this sleeve. Whu whu what?! Visual gags galore the rest of the way through.

Unkle – “Heaven”

Spike Jonze + slow motion + skaters + dynamite = me willing to sit through a 7-minute song that sounds like Enya.

Carl Sagan – “A Glorious Dawn” ft. Stephen Hawking

I have no idea what’s happening here. But ha! I tricked you into learning about science.

Phoenix - “Lisztomania” (Brat Pack Mashup)

I am confident that Phoenix wrote this song by watching The Breakfast Club on mute and imagining what was in Anthony Michael Hall’s heart. Too bad all the Mannequin clips get in the way. I don’t mind Ducky, though. Try not to smile while watching this. I dare you.

She & Him – “Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?” ((500) Days of Summer edition)

I still haven’t seen this movie, but did see JGL (waaaaay more dreamy than JTT) on SNL (he did a flip during the monologue!). The video is reminiscent of Catch Me If You Can starring Christopher Walken and “Weapon of Choice” starring Christopher Walken. Clearly, JGL should have revisited the Continental. Try not to smile while watching this. I double dare you.

And, as a final special treat, I give you the Spike Jonze/Kayne West/Kanye West's weird creature that lives in his belly's "We Were Once a Fairytale." Epic, I say. Let's see Taylor Swift stumble around pretending to pretend to be drunk!

Simmons and Sas.... Together at Last

2009-11-13T20:36:00.006-05:00

I went to ESPN Zone at Disneyland today to meet my idol Bill Simmons as he winds down his book tour. I purchased a copy of his new book "The Book of Basketball" for only $22 and was one of 100's of people standing in a line that stretched around the building to meet the author. But I didn't want to be just another faceless fan looking for an autograph. I wanted to do something that he would deem worthy of writing about in his weekly column, which I read religiously.

I didn't have much time to brainstorm. I was thinking about clever/witty things I could say, but didn't have any confidence that he would be impressed. Then, it came to me. Ever since the Browns played in San Diego 3 years ago, I've had a Tim Couch jersey sitting in the trunk of my car. Don't ask me why I thought that wearing a Couch jersey would be an acceptable way of supporting my team. Even my fellow Browns fans were making fun of it. Anyway, my great idea was to have Simmons sign the Couch jersey while explaining to him that if the "Sports Guy" endorses this symbol of Brown's futility, it would start a chain reaction of events that will reverse the fortunes of the franchise and cause the Browns to become the Patriots of the next decade.

This sounded like a good idea in my head. It even came out exactly as planned when I described it in the above paragraph. But when I finally got to meet him, I was such a nervous wreck, I'm not exactly sure what happened. I was like Ralphy freezing up on the spot while sitting on Santa's lap. I don't want a football, I want a red-rider bb gun!!! Damn it, how could this happen.

The actual exchange went something like this:

Sas: "In addition to the book, can you please sign this Tim Couch jersey?"

Simmons: "Sure, no problem. Why am I signing a Couch jersey?"

Sas: "I think this will turn around the franchise and make us into the Patriots"

Simmons: "This will never work"

Sas: "We're pretty desperate"

Simmons: "I hope this gets things turned around for you"

Sas: "Thanks, keep up the good work"

Simmons: "Thanks"

When he said "This will never work" all I heard was "You'll shoot your eye out".

All in all, it went pretty well though. I doubt I did enough to make it into his column, but it was worth a shot.

Here are some pictures...

This is me standing in line outside, nervously playing with my facial hair as I was thinking about what I wanted to say.... I also had to poop.

This is me reciting my speech just before stepping up to the signing table.

Simmons signing my Couch jersey while I explain to him how this all makes sense.

Parting words... I think he is smiling... maybe he was amused. If I make it into his column, it will definitely be my greatest accomplishment thus far in life.

Who's Comin' With Me?

2009-10-20T15:25:00.007-04:00

That's a picture of Rob Lowery and Luke Fabrizuis delivering season tickets for the upcoming year. How adorable.

But, it did get me thinking about this year, and how it's our best chance in quite some time to make some noise, beat up on a bunch of no-names during non-conference play (Towson? Presbyterian? Lehigh?), inevitably lose to Duquesne, and barely earn a 7 seed only to lose in the 1st round. I'm so pumped!

But really, I am pumped. I just got done putting the schedule in my Google calendar, and noticed our home game against Xavier (remember, that's the school we hate) is on Saturday, February 6th, at noon.....and it got me thinking.

I'm thinking we get a crew to head to Dayton for that weekend. I've been able to make it to one or two games each year since graduation. Actually, a fellow colleague and Flyer have been gathering information at our trips to games in an effort to slowly turn Roncalli High School into University of Dayton High School.

Example:
Do you guys remember this dude? He started doing this during halftime a year or two after we graduated.

Well, here's a clip from our Homecoming pep rally last week.

Anyway, I was at the Xavier game last year when Lowery went down for the season and we still killed them. It was awesome. And this year, Xavier should have an off year, and we still have that dude that can dunk!

.....wait, that wasn't him. I mean this guy.

.....and this guy too.

But even if we aren't able to snag tickets to the game, it'd be pretty fun to be on campus for the weekend and watch the game from a random house (ie: barge into 301 Stonemill) or watch from the Fieldhouse or Tank's. And then of course, run around in the Ghetto.

So, here's my question....who's coming with me?

Let me know soon if you're interested in converging on Dayton that weekend, and we'll start making plans (I already called to request one of the Brown St. Alumni houses, but they're all booked).

And now, for something completely different, please enjoy this very important PSA:

*** An even more important news article was just brought to my attention by my brother, Tom. Appparently there used to be bear wrestling at Tim's!***

$$$ Cleveland Sucks and I Want Restitution $$$

2009-10-07T22:19:00.003-04:00

Apparently the Indians have become the farm system for the "Real Teams" in Major League Baseball.

As the 2009 post season begins, I've decided to compile the "All Ex-Indians Playing for Playoff Teams Team"

Starting Rotation:

1A C.C. Sabathia, NYY
1B Cliff Lee, PHI
3 Carl Pavano, MIN
4 Paul Byrd, BOS

Bullpen:

RHP Guillermo Moto, LAD
LHP Alan Embree, COL
C Rafeal Bentancourt, COL

Position Players:

C Victor Martinez, BOS
1B Jim Thome, LAD
2B Mark DeRosa, STL
SS Ronnie Belliard, STL
3B Casey Blake, LAD
LF Manny Rameriz, LAD
CF Ben Francisco, PHI
RF Ryan Ludwick, STL

This is a pretty decent squad... probably just one closer away from being the best team in the playoffs.

Oh well, I guess I still have the Browns... err Ohio State.... err.... Dayton Flyers.... um... um.... um...

Go Lebron!!!!!

If Lebron leaves for New York after winning zero championships with the Cavs, can the title of "Most Tortured Sports City" finally be given to Cleveland once and for all. I feel like we don't get enough global recognition regarding this topic.

And since I have to follow Dayton Flyers Basketball and their false sense of national relevance, am I "The Most Tortured Sports Fan in the Country"?

If there was some sort of government grant awarded to help promote the general mental wellness of beleaguered sports fans, don't you think my case would be a slam dunk?

A message to Obama..... "SAS WANTS RESTITUTION!!!!"

Sas At It Again!!

2009-09-18T21:56:00.002-04:00

This story is really a non-story.... I think.

Last week, the owner of my company (Larry) surprised me with tickets to the Ohio State / USC game. How sweet is that? He bought me a plane ticket, game ticket, paid for the hotel and rental car. All I had to do was come along and show him a good time in my home state. I have to admit I was shocked that he did this for me because just one day prior, he announced that our company will be dissolving at the end of the year. I looked at this as an opportunity to put in some good one-on-face time with the man who would most certainly be starting a new business shortly and I want to ride those coattails. I couldn't ask for a better situation... There isn't a social setting I feel more comfortable at then a big sporting event. I was confident that I would be able to show him a good time in Buckeye land.

Let's just say things didn't go quite as planned.... but I am still employed. This story requires some chronology.

Friday: 11:00 pm

Touchdown in good ole Dayton, Ohio. We rented a car and drove to Columbus and checked into our hotel. I wish we had time to stop by the Ghetto, but we had a busy day to prepare for and really just wanted to get some sleep.

Saturday: 10:00 am

Had breakfast with Mom and Dad. Went well... Mom and Dad were well behaved and didn't embarrass me too much in front of the man.

!2:00 pm - 3:00 pm

Drove to Ohio State, walked around campus for a little bit, went to a few bars. Had a couple beers.

3:00 pm

Went to a bar called the Varsity Club to meet my friends Jason (Bodeker) and Nick.

Sometime between 3:30 pm and 4:30 pm

Got ruphied..... that's right ruphied.

4:30ish - 10:30 pm

blacked out.

10:30 pm

When I came out of this black out, I was at a outside the stadium watching the game at this sweet tail gait set-up. There was a huge flat screen mounted on the side of a bus and a bunch of lawn chairs. It looks like people were having fun. Although I was happy Ohio State was winning, I was confused as to why I wasn't in the stadium... which by the way is literally a stones through from this bus. I think I was in some sort of V.I.P. tail gait parking lot. Confused, but powerless, I make my self at home and pulled up a lawn chair and watch the end of the game.

11:30 pm

I look at my phone and realize that something bizarre had happen. From 5:00 pm to 10:00 pm I made over 20 phone calls.... several to Larry... Apparently we had even talked several minutes. But also a couple to my Mom, my Aunt Chris, my friend Tom, my friend Jake, and Julie. I also wrote several text message during this time period. None that made any sense.... mostly just random phrasings of words... or sometime just random letters.

I'll share a few of them....

at 7:50 pm (about 10 minutes before kick off) I wrote this text to my friend Tom, a buckeye fan living in Cali.

"Come on u so 4 up"

Doesn't make sense... but at least I'm using English words.

at 9:45 I had this text "conversation" with my friend Brandon, another buckeye fan living in Cali.

Brandon: "First possession of second half will most likely determine outcome"

Sas: "eBay!0"

Brandon: "Huh???? are you hammered?

Sas: "Go"

Sas: "Go"

Brandon: "O H I O"

I wish I was making this up.... it gets worse before it gets better.

At 10:00, I wrote the following text messages to Larry:

"SSS"
"Pumpkins"
"Pumpkins?"

For those who don't know.... I often referred to Julie as Pumpkins.... so that kinda makes sense.

Speaking of Julie... Here's the text conversation I had with her at 10:15

Sas: "Hi pimpjobs"

Julie: "Must be halftime if you're texting me... and do you realize what you called me?

Sas: "Hmmm"

Sas: "Where?"

Sas: "Sivhbs. Trspp"

Julie: "What language is that?"

Sas: "Lovescpumpkindvlpvrd"

Julie: "You'll need to translate that when you come back"

Sas: "Frappe lodtvtewopuy"

Julie: "You're obviously wasted.... I'll talked to you later"

Now I know what your thinking. Sas got wasted and doesn't remember what happened. That was my first thought too. After the game, when I was by my self trying to figure out what happened, I was so confused. Beyond confused... I simply could not remember anything. But I had all this "proof of life" via my cell phone activity. I never went more than 30 minutes without making a phone call or writhing a text message.... also, there was no evidence that I had been sleeping. No grass stains, or cuts, or bruises from a possible collapse. Actually, the first memory I have, after the blackout, I was standing up and watching the game on tv.... I remember sitting down in a chair only after I realized that I was the only one at the tail gait party. I was missing my hat though.... so it's possible that I did go down somewhere... but it would've had to be brief because of the time stamps on my cell phone indicated a high frequency of "ruphie-dialing".

When I finally found my way back to car, which was difficult because a) I've never been to Ohio State and b) I had just spent the last 6 hours wandering around in a black out, I found Larry sleeping in the driver's seat. I open the car door and woke him up... He looks at me and says "What the fuck happened to me?" I said "You? What the fuck happened to me?" This is where we exchange our memories only to find out that we have none. Larry said he remembers being at the Varsity Club, next thing he knew, he was it the Horseshoe by himself and it's the 3rd quarter.... He says he was missing his hat and he had changed his shirt. But of course, doesn't remember any of this. He also has all kinds of cuts on his arm and just today he came by my cubicle to show me that a huge bruise has developed on his elbow. He says he doesn't remember any of the first half.

I talked to Jason the next day.... ditto. He says he doesn't remember leaving the Varsity Club. When he "came to" he was at a bar all by himself watching the game.... around the 3rd quarter. He has a broken finger.

Nick woke up on porch 3 houses down from the house they were staying at in a student neighborhood.... he didn't see any of the game.

Larry and I talked about this the whole way home and have concluded that the only way 4 seasoned drinkers like ourselves could all blackout like that is if we were drugged. I only remember being at the Varsity Club for like an hour.... that's not even enough time to get backed out even if we were drinking a ridiculous amount of booze... which we weren't.

Kinda scary, but also kinda funny. i would do anything to have a camera following me around for those "blackout hours".

Obviously we were all somewhat functional....

Larry got into the game.

Jason was able to be at a bar without being kicked out.

Nick made it home.... almost.

I apparently was at a tail gait party..... I bet whoever owns that bus, has a good story about this random guy that wandered over to there party.... I must have been polite enough to not get my ass kicked.

The thing is, none of us remember leaving the Varsity Club.... Why did we split up? When did we split? Where did we go while blacked out? These questions have been killing me. It's so weird to not be able to account for 6 hours of your life.... 6 hours!!! That's just insane. If only I was wearing some sort of helmet-cam.

In the end, I guess I'm just happy that I didn't wake up in jail. I'm also impressed that we were able to make our 6:00 am flight out of Dayton.... which is another reason I know it wasn't alcohol.... we had zero hangover.

Just memory loss.

Ep at it again!!!!

2009-08-14T19:53:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I haven't posted anything in a long time so I may as well make it a good one. The other day I was riding my bike back from my Grandma's (about 20 miles) and I had a crazy idea. I thought to myself man it would be kinda crazy to ride a bike from the farthest point north in the U.S. to the farthest point south in the U.S.... the Arctic Ocean just north of Prudhoe Bay Alaska, to Key West Florida.

So the only next natural step in my mind was to decide to quit my job next June and do it. I am going to be turning it into a fundraiser with a pledge drive for Mental Health Awareness and donating all the proceeds to charity.

For those of you who are wondering what I will do for work upon my return...I'm not to worried about I am sure our Lord and Savior Barack shall grant; peace, harmony, and vast riches by then...oh and health care too.

For all of you who happen to be English teachers and are thinking to yourselves, Jesus there;'s not enough read ink in the states to correct this short entry I will pick some up for you on my way through Canada. Cause 8:30 on Friday and I have been drinking since noon.

Oh yeah D-Rock will be the bookie for said journey.

Peace out

E to the Mother F'n P

Decemberists Show

2009-08-09T22:59:00.002-04:00

I saw the Decemberists last night. Here's the recap.

Pitchfork Music Festival Review

2009-07-21T13:20:00.004-04:00

Hey dudes. Go read my review of this year's Pitchfork Music Festival. It was sooooooo hip!

I WISH THIS WAS A BEAST COMMERCIAL

2009-07-19T12:16:00.002-04:00

This dude reminds me of Clarke.... Though there is no way Clarke could hit an old man with a beer can.... I lost a lot of money playing cornhole with him once.

2009 Kentucky Moustache Ride

2009-07-05T16:01:00.003-04:00

Follow exploits of myself, Brennan, and Behler as we criss-cross the Bluegrass state all week long, on our way to Lebowski Fest in Louisville. While Behler and Basford are pedaling, I'll be doing any/all of the following:

driving the support vehicle
making their lunches
writing little notes to put in their lunches
sporting a sweet moustache (a different style per day)
posting pics and writing about our trip
reading AP and British literature
recording (and hopefully posting) covers of songs by some of the greatest moustaches in rock 'n roll history

Keep up to date at kentuckymoustacheride.blogspot.com

Heeeeeere's Conan

2009-06-01T00:32:00.004-04:00

Hey guys, just wanted you to know I'm gonna do a live blog during Conan's debut on the Tonight Show. Here's my preview blog. I'll do the live blog over there at badideabluejeans.

Watch. Read. Comment.

Coachella 2009 - The Review: Saturday

2009-05-10T21:28:00.003-04:00

Another new discovery for Coachella.... Coffee. It sounds so obvious, yet somehow I've neglected it in years past, which is weird because I drink a cup or two of coffee every single day at work. I started each morning with a shower and a cup of coffee... This is not real camping.

Our favorite desert watering hole, The Bee Hunter, was first on the agenda today. The Cavs game was on at noon....I love western standard time on weekends.... not so much during the week. This works out perfectly. We can get out the sun during peak cooking hours, enjoy sports in the AC, and get drunk. Win, Win, Win. Today also marked a milestone of sorts in the life of Sas. Today was the first time found myself on the wrong end of the generation gap. I realized this during a brief discussion regarding Twitter. I have no idea what Twitter is or why the kids are obsessed with it. I have a bad feeling that I'm going to be on the wrong side of the "Your too old to understand" argument. First I learned the art of the mass email, then it was texting time, now I've dabbled in blogging, I even asked Cha Cha who the lead singer of the Stone Roses was..... I don't think I'm ready for Twitter.

Feeling old.... Tweet!

Back to the lecture at hand. All five us piled into Haley's car and headed to beautiful La Quinta, home of the aforementioned Beer Hunter. Isn't Beer Hunter a great name for a bar? It's a great place too, the people there were so friendly and accommodating. We sat about 10 feet away from a gigantic projection screen... they put the sound on for the game, and kept the pitchers coming. Lebron dominated.... Clarke and Sas did not.... we tried to win our money back playing foosball..... fail. After the game, we picked up a couple cases of beer and went back to the festival feeling refreshed and ready for TV on the Radio. We left the beer on ice in a cooler at the car for use on Sunday. We really planned this weekend well as far as alcohol rationing.

Sometime during the day we had a discussion about what percentage of the female population at Coachella would be "do-able"..... I think we settled on 50%.

TV on the Radio was rocking. We got the prime spots for that show too.... right in front of the people dividers. "Wolf Like Me" was one of the most energetic performances I've ever been at, the crowd was really into it. I can't remember why we skipped them last time they were at Coachella.... I'm sure it was a good reason.

I think we hung out in the food area after TVOTR and listened to the Fleet Foxes from afar. We also smoked a lot of pot at this point. Flanagan decides to venture solo and check out M.I.A., while Clarke, Basford, and I head over to Band of Horses. Not sure what Walter was doing.... I'm sure it was the best show he's ever seen though. I really like Band of Horses. "Is There a Ghost" is song I can't stop listening to.

After BOH, we had some time to pass before the Killers came on.... I really don't remember what we did. I think we met up with Flanagan and just walked around checking out the art sculptures which are really cool. The snake thing was a nice combination of visual stimulation, heat sensory overload, with a dash of fear factor. I still want to know what was powering the flames.... huge propane tanks? It didn't feel safe, but that could've been the paranoia from the purple afro-berry.

We were watching the Killers when I decided I no longer wanted to be there, so I went back to camp first. Got me some Spicy Pie of course. Saturday night in the campgrounds at Coachella is always interesting. This year's parade sounded minute compared to last year's "Million-Man March". I still never got an answer as to how close they got to our tents. I sware they were right outside..... Like a bunch of hungry grizzly bears trying to get my trail mix. Nonetheless, I was able to fall asleep (pass out). And that was that.... another day done.... and only one more to go.

Coachella 2009 - The Review: Friday

2009-04-30T23:47:00.010-04:00

Going into the weekend, Friday was the day I was most excited about... At least in terms of music I wanted to see. We have a lot to recap before it's music time. First of all, I'm pretty sure I didn't sleep Thursday night. I remember the sun beginning to rise and in the desert, once the sun is up, you are up because your tent starts to feel like a sauna. Plus I wanted a shower and that requires getting to the shower before 8:00 which is when the line begins to get too long. Showering at Coachella is a relatively recent development. I never took a shower the first 3 years... now, I couldn't imagine not taking a shower. I took one every morning. The five of us woke up in the same order every morning. Flanagan and I woke up first to take showers, followed by Basford, and finally Clarke and then Walter. This is somewhat annoying because Clarke and Walter always use the shade tent as sleeping quarters so in the morning when we want shade we have to force them to get up and transform the tent from "sleeping mode" to "hanging out" mode. This of course could all be avoided if Walter would bring his tent.... and actually use it. Whatever.

These weekend benders are getting harder at my old age. I've noticed that if I don't get proper sleep and I was drunk... I get the shakes bad.... like a Romanian orphan. And we all know the only way to cure the shakes is by drinking more. Luckily the company I tend to keep is usually up for drinking at any hour of the day. I reckon we cracked our first beers around 11:30 am. Walter, Clarke, Basford, and Flanagan then played the inaugural game of Boccie Ball. I don't understand why we never brought Boccie Ball with us before, but we had it this year and it was worth it. While the 4 of them meander through the campground hurling their big balls at a smaller ball, I was back at the campsite kicking it with Patricia, Britney, and Ari.

I'm now going to tell one of those stories which is much funnier if you witnessed it.

First of all, the Boccie game was taking forever and the girls decided to go do some art stuff, so it was just Ari and I. We were shooting the shit about what music we liked and who we were most excited to see, etc. He was telling me about his backpacking experiences and we were really chatting it up for quite a while. Then, out of nowhere, he stands up looks around at our tents, and presents this challenge to himself. This is the part where you had to be there... Ari thinks (probably because of the beer and purple afro-berry) that he can take a running start and jump over the rope that was tying down our tent and land in side his tent which was barely open. It was an impossible maneuver.... It would be hard to throw a basketball into this opening, let alone an Australian. But I encouraged him to attempt this nonetheless. He's talking it up like he definitely going to pull it off and as I start looking at it closer (probably because of the beer and purple afro-berry) I actually begin to think he can pull it off. Well after chugging another beer, Ari stepped-off his route and mentally prepared him self for what would be the most amazing feat of campground acrobatics. I gave him a drum roll and a count down and he was off. Colossal failure. He cleared the rope (thankfully) but landed square on his tiny one man tent and completely exploded it. Luckily Ari is some sort of tent technician (he actually helped fix my tent the night before) and he was able to fix his tent in like 30 seconds.

The gang finally returned from Boccie and then it was on to another Coachella.... Cornhole. I wish I didn't have to tell the next part of the story, but I do. The short and sweet version of the story is that Clarke and I lost $160 each to Basford and Flanagan. If I tell the long version, it will put me in bad mood and probably ruin the rest of this post. One thing I don't understand about Coachella is why people don't tailgate more? We got drunk in the parking lot 4 days. It's fun and could be a lot more fun if more people would follow our lead. A great rule that we had implemented is that if your team ended a turn with exactly 13 points, you had to shotgun a beer. We have music playing, beers cracking, bags tossing.... it's great.... I don't understand why we are the only ones that do it. I guess people party in the campground too.... but it's all drugs and hard liqueur.... Beer is the key to good times. I guess if you graduating from UD you also get a degree in partying.

And now the festival begins. The first band we all wanted to see was the Black Keys from Akron, Ohio. We were able to get up pretty close for the show and it was rocking. I wish each day kicked off with a performance by the Black Keys.... It really puts me in the right frame of mind. I wonder if King James listens to the Black Keys.

Next up was one of my most highly anticipated acts of the weekend.... Mr. Leonard Cohen. I had heard of Leonard Cohen but really the only think I knew about him was that he wrote the song Hallelujah.... I don't think I had ever heard his version of it until he was announced on the Coachella line up. This is why I love Coachella. I would've never bothered to try to get into Leonard Cohen if he hadn't played Coachella. Turns out, I really like his music and listened to him a lot during the weeks leading up to Coachella. I was a little skeptical to see if a 73 year old man and his backing band who are notoriously quiet could deliver at a big venue like Coachella. That skepticism was crushed from note one. His sunset performance was so incredible. He had the whole audience hanging on every word he sung. It was truly amazing and I encourage everyone to see him as he winds down his tour/career/life.

I'm pretty sure I saw Clarke crying during this song.

Next up on the bill was Morrissey. I've always wanted to see Moz so again I was really excited for this show. However, I have to say that his show was a little bit of a disappointment. His depressing "woe is me" schtick didn't really fit the mood I was in after chest-bumping Basford during a Black Key's guitar solo and witnessing a 73 year old man pour his heart out on stage. I really wish he would just cheer the fuck up and sing his songs... which are good.

Oh yeah, somehow during the walk from Cohen's stage to Morrissey's stage, I got separated from the group. So I had to watch Morrissey and McCartney all by myself. The good thing about being by yourself is that you can weasel your way pretty close.... which I did. The bad thing about being really close, is that it's so crowded. During the 45 minute set change between Moz and Macca, I would've paid $100 to be able to just be able to bend over and touch my toes and stretch out for like 10 minutes. I was close but in a tight spot. Regardless, McCartney was great.... Obviously. I wish he had played more Beatles songs (he played 18 Beatles songs and it still didn't seem like enough). I like his some of his solo stuff, but I really just wanted to see a Beatle perform Beatle's songs. The pyro-technics during "Live and Let Die" was pretty sweet though. And the song he wrote for Lennon "Here Today" which I had never heard was very moving. But the highlight was the Beatle's songs. Pretty much all of them.... but I'll single out "Let it Be", "A Day in the Life", "Yesterday", and "Blackbird" as highlights. Like Roger Waters and Prince of last year, the legends tend to prove why they are legends at Coachella

After the festival comes another Coachella tradition. The group usually gets separated and we all come back at slightly different times, but always with a slice or two of Spicy Pie....the best festival pizza ever.

At this point, we are usually so tired, we just crash.... this year was no exception.

To be continued.....

re: Coachella 2009 - The Review: Thursday

2009-04-29T09:09:00.003-04:00

Here is a photo of said dolly and said idiots:

Coachella 2009 - The Review: Thursday

2009-04-28T23:34:00.005-04:00

First of all, before I get into it, I would like to take this moment to petition anyone reading this post to finally sack up and make the trip out to California a go to Coachella with us.... You will not regret it.

Has Coachella weekend become my favorite weekend of the year? Yes it has.... it most definitely has. I don't even know where to begin. I was thinking about doing another top ten list, but you guys are probably getting bored with those and I don't feel like paring down a weekend filled within countless moments of hilarity into just 10 events. Plus I'm not in the mood to come up with creative/witty titles for each entry. Instead, I'm getting chronological up in this piece. Due to the length of this post and my inability to stay focused on something for more than one hour at a time, this will have to be done in installments, starting with Thursday.

Thursday:

Flanagan and I had a lot of business to take care of after work which led us on a tour of South Orange County before we finally picked up Clarke from the airport about 45 minutes late. By business, I mean we had to leave our office in Anaheim and drive my Jetta to Mission Viejo to pick up some Purple Afro-berry. Yes, that's what was called. Then we had to head north to Irvine and swap my Jetta for Samatha's (Flanagan's girl) Lexus SUV. After the swap, we headed back to Newport Beach and loaded the Lexus to the brim leaving barely enough room for Clarke to squeeze in the back seat after we finally picked him up from the airport. Then we were off to the desert.

Then there is the Walter situation. For those of you who don't know, which is probably everyone reading this that hasn't been to Coachella, Walter is a friend of Clarke from when he lived in Tucson. Walter has been a part of the Coachella experience for the past 3 years now and he is obsessed with Clarke. Walter's obsession with Clarke is similar to a paparazzi's obsession with a superstar, which is why Clarke keeps in contact with him. Clarke likes to feel like a superstar. This is not debatable.

2 Examples of Walter's obsession:

Coachella 2007: Walter brings his own tent which he sets up but doesn't use once all weekend instead he opts to share sleeping quarters with Clarke in my shade tent. Meanwhile, Flanagan and I are sharing my regular tent because neither one of us want to use Walter's tent. It was so ridiculous. I would love to have a whole tent to myself at Coachella.

Coachella 2008: Clarke buys a clever T-shirt that spoofs Back 2 the Future.... It says Barack to the Future in the same font used in the movie. The next day, Walter buys the exact same T-shirt. How awesome is that? First of all the T-shirt isn't that cool. But more importantly, isn't there an unwritten rule that governs this sort of behavior? Even if it was the coolest shirt ever, once one of your friends buys it, you cannot buy it. Am I wrong?

Anyways, back to the story of the day. The trip to Coachella and back always seems to be an adventure for Walter. 2007, he was able to get a ride to Riverside, and we scooped him up on the way in and took him home. 2008, his plan was to take the bus there and then go with Sean Penn to New Orleans on some Katrina mission. I'm not making this up. Needless to say, that plan didn't pan out and he ended up just driving there on his own. This year, he got involved with some carpool gig that was organized on the festival's website. So he drove himself and 3 other people from LAX. This included 2 girls, Brittany and Patricia, who flew in from Denver and 1 dude named Ari who is an Australian currently backpacking his way around the States. These 3 people camped with us all weekend, there will be stories involving these characters in subsequent installments of The Review. The four of them arrived well before us and picked out a perfect camping site.... not there's really a bad camping site, at least not in our experience so far.

While we were busy trying to get out of Orange County, Basford was having difficulties departing Tucson. When the initial text messages came through updating us on his progress, or lack there of, I became worried. See, Basford's attendance was vital to the overall success of the weekend. Mainly because last year, Basford inherited my shade tent which is the single most important piece of camping equipment we have. Shade at Coachella is such a commodity I pretty sure it can be exchange for sexual favors. The night before the most important day of the year, Basford decides to leave the headlights on his car overnight and destroy his battery. Haley really bailed him out and essentially saved the weekend for all by letting him use her car while she had to get by without a vehicle for the whole weekend.

Despite our setbacks in Orange County and Basford's problems in Tucson, the four of us managed to arrive within minutes of each other for the second year in a row. It is now approximately 11:00 pm and lot of people are still arriving and setting up camp. We determine that the line to campgrounds is too long, so we stay in the parking lot and drink lots of beer for the next 2 hours. It is now 1:00 am and we have a lot of shit to move. This has become one of my favorite parts of the weekend. See, the campgrounds are suppose to be alcohol free, which doesn't mean much other than most people just sneak in bottles or flasks in addition to their drugs of choice. Since our drug of choice is beer, this presents a challenge. The last couple years, we were able to smuggle in a couple cases by strategically concealing cans of beer within our camping equipment. It reminds me of being in high school and sneaking beer past the parents. This year, I borrowed a 4-wheeled dolly from work to help us move our stuff in which led to Basford and I looking making fools out of ourselves as we get the wheels stuck in the sand and being laughed at by fellow campers. All-in-all, the dolly worked fine once we discovered the hard ground. We literally had 20 or so objects stacked on this dolly as we wheeled up to the checkpoint. Security is suppose to check everyone's belongings for contraband. Our drunk logic was that we would have too much stuff so that we would either a) be granted a free pass because the security would be to lazy to search it all or b) be brought to a separate search area. It was the latter. When we rolled up to the gate with that thing, the security guard took us to the side and started searching item by item. The good thing about this was that security was so distracted, Clarke and Flanagan rolled 2 coolers full of beer in without being searched at all. The bad thing is, we had beer on the dolly, 2 bags of purple afro-berry (yes, that's what's called) and a bubbler. The security guard only took the bubbler.... a small price to pay for the amount of contraband we were able to get in.

Now it's time to set up our tents... which is typically easy, except this year we didn't have the instructions for the shade tent. The shade tent is a tricky apparatus if you don't have the instructions but we were able to figure it out. This accomplishment is one of those things which we tend to give ourselves way more credit that what is due. After we got the shade tent up, you would have thought we just discovered a cure for cancer. Lot's of congratulations for a simple task... but when performed by idiots, gets blown way out of proportion. By now, I'm sure it's like 4:00 am and we shoot the shit for a little while longer before finally calling it a night as sun started to rise.....

To be continued....

Kings Long Lost Father?????

2009-04-22T13:22:00.002-04:00

Well I am so very very very happy to hear that our beloved Kinger is doing so much better. Its seems as though all of our thoughts and prayers have been answered and I will continue to keep him in mine. That being said I ran across this picture of convicted celeb murder Phil Spector and all I ask is that you picture King with long red hair.

Tournament Time

2009-03-17T22:57:00.001-04:00

Go to ESPN.COM and follow the link to their NCAA Tournament Challenge.

I've created a group named: Flyers to Round 2

Password: Ghetto

Good luck

Separated at Birth

2009-03-16T20:05:00.025-04:00

I have been DYING to post this one, I was just waiting for the right timing.

LEFT: collegiate basketball star Tyler Hansbrough

RIGHT: annoying novelty, Big Mouth Billy Bass, circa 2000.

Or, if you prefer the 2009 version of Big Mouth Billy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJRK9wOCTDw

Thank God They Don't Have Pittsnogle Anymore

2009-03-15T20:25:00.005-04:00

Well, we didn't have to sweat it out like last year (though, honestly, Sas' blog about us getting screwed last year almost made it worth it).

Anyone putting together a pool for the tourney? Post all the info here so we can all pretend that Dayton will actually get out of the first weekend.

At the very least, I think we should all write a blog of predictions before the tourney starts on Thursday.

Other than that, please enjoy my previous year's posts concerning the greatest montage in television history.

One Shining Moment

No One Touch the March

The Last Shining Moment

Tony Stanley Never Did This

2009-03-10T11:45:00.001-04:00

Not really related to UD, other than it taking place at UD arena. But who doesn't love a good 90-foot buzzer beater?

UD v XU Live Blog Updated

2009-03-03T17:34:00.004-05:00

I think I might do a live blog during the Dayton/Xavier Game Thursday night. But you all have to promise to watch/read along with me. Pinkie Swear?

I just have to figure out how to do a live blog. Here's my brother's live Oscar blog. I'll just copy him.

Alright. I'll be blogging live during the Dayton/Xavier game tonight over at my brother's blog, Bad Idea Blue Jeans. The game starts on ESPN at 9 Eastern. Feel free to text/email any insights you have during the game, so I can use them in the blog.

And just to whet your whistle, here's a messageboard thread my brother found. Apparently Sean Miller is more concerned with cheerleading than coaching his team.

Vegas Super Bowl Top Nine Moments

2009-02-04T22:28:00.010-05:00

I'm not intending to rub it in Garman's face, but this was the best trip to Vegas I've ever had and that's saying a lot considering it was at least my 8th trip. As per usual, I like to relive stories with lists.

9) My Sas is on Fire

Like I said, this was the best Vegas trip ever. #9 on this list is a tribute to all the personal records I set this trip... some of these records will be referenced again later on this list.

Personal records Sas set this trip....

Most lap dances
Most money won gambling
Most tequila drank
Most expensive meal
Longest consecutive drinking binge without sleeping

Quite impressive that I can have all those personal best in one trip, so I'm certain you all will enjoy this list which mostly features the following: Craps, Strippers, and Drinking.

8) Skanks on the Plane

I've flown from Orange County to Vegas on a Friday night on couple occasions, but I've never been on a flight that had more strippers. I love the flight from the OC to Sin City because it's only an hour and people are so chatty and excited to go to Vegas. I heard 3 or 4 girls sitting behind me talking about the strip clubs they were working, but the best situation was occurring in the 2 seats right next to me. There was an old (like 50 years) man sitting next me with this girl who was obviously a stripper/escort/prostitute. She was all over this guy the entire trip and she was quite attractive. I know shew was being paid because she knew nothing about this guy... she was asking questions like: what do you do for a living? Are you married? Have you ever been married?... etc.

More about strippers later on the list.

7) Meat is Murder.... but delicious none the less

In order to save money for gambling/drinking/strippers, I usually eat at cheap places like Chipotle (twice this weekend) or Denny's (see #2 on this list). This trip we tried something different. After everyone arrived Saturday, we went to dinner at a place in Mandalay Bay called The Rum Jungle. This is not the type of event I usually partake in during my Vegas experiences, but it was totally worth it. It was a Brazilian style steakhouse and for $45 dollars we got an endless supply of various meat dishes that were all delicious. After we had more than our fill, we gambled for a bit at MB before taking a limo back to our hotels (Imperial Palace of Flamingos). Definitely worth the money... I may start doing the fine dining thing in Vegas more often.

6) A Story about Pomegranates

Anyone who has ever rode in a taxi with Basford knows he enjoys conversing with the cabbies. Likewise, most cabbies have ridiculous stories and seem to enjoy confining in Basford. On the way from Imperial Palace to Mandalay Bay, Clarke, Costello, and I were in the back of the taxi van having our own conversation, so we couldn't really hear what was going on in the front seat. All we know is that when we got out of the cab, Basford handed the driver our fare and said "Good luck with those pomegranates." There's more to the story, but you will have to ask Basford.

5) Late Night Craps Run

After getting our 4th wind around 4:00 am Sunday night/Monday morning, Clarke and I decided the only way we could make our flights departing at 10:30 am was to stay up all night playing craps. It started out with Clarke, Basford, and I on a table not really winning or losing, just staying a float. We did have a hot cocktail waitress named Tiffany who served us at least 4 white russians each. One time I said "Thank you sir" to her as she handed me my drink, then I mistakenly tried to explain myself by saying "It was a Freudian Slip" which obviously makes no sense. She responded by asking me "Did you just come out of the closet there?" Impressed by her quick wit, I decided I wanted to marry her right there, but she wouldn't have it. Because it was so late, they closed the table we were at and moved us to another table. At this point, Basford had turned in and it was just Clarke and I and couple other players. Again we were just barely staying afloat and drinking irish coffee. Eventually, all the other players left the table and it was just Clarke and I. So Clarke went to one end of the table and I went to the other so we would be throwing at each other. I wish I could say this was when our luck changed and Clarke and Sas took all of Mr. Palace's money, but it wasn't... we continued to do nothing but stay afloat. In walks our Canadian saviors. Two guys from the North Country who have never played craps before caused the table to catch fire. One guy rolled for like 1/2 hour.... another group of college age dudes joined us and they caught fire. By the time 7:30 rolled around, we were up like $400 each. This led to me changing my flight from 10:30 am to 8:45 pm... which turned out to be the best decision I ever made (See #1).

4) The Strip Club Incident

This is inappropriate to talk about... even on this blog. If you want to hear the story, you can ask me in person. Or you can ask Basford, his version of the story is probably funnier than mine.

3) Bad Decision Friday

Only Clarke, Costello, and I were in Vegas on Friday night. By the time we arrived and checked in, it was like 10:00 pm. We drank whisky and beer for a few hours in the room while and got caught up on things. I think we went out around midnight and hit the blackjack table for a bit. Imperial Palace has black jack dealers who dress like famous singers and perform on a small stage.... It's a pretty cool shtick for a crappy casino. After a losing stint dealt my Michael Jackson (who looked more like Jack White) we decided to go get drunk.

Bad decision #1:

We go to a club/bar at Imperial Palace. Lamest club ever. Immediately after paying the cover and walking through the door, we wanted to leave. Trying to save some face, we do a shot at the bar.... then leave after being there for about 30 seconds. Clarke tried to get his money back by explaining to the bouncer that he had epilepsy.

Bad decision #2:

Still not as drunk as we need to be, we decide to go to the outside bar at Harrah's. Clarke, wasting little time, goes to the bar and orders 3 foot margarita's for each of us. These drinks are not made for one person to drink alone. The bar tender opens a fresh bottle of tequila and splits it evenly as he pours are drinks... then opens another bottle to top us off. Our jaws are on the floor as we watch the bartender make these deadly concoctions. These drinks messed our worlds up. I was playing blackout blackjack betting $50 a hand until the dealer pointed out Clarke that my eyes were close. Costello, left like an hour before Clarke and I, but when we made it back to the room at 6:00 am, Costello wasn't there.... He got lost trying to find Imperial Palace.... which is right next door to Harrah's. I don't remember any of this, I thought we played blackjack at Imperial Palace all night... I forgot we were at Harrah's myself... so I can see how you can get lost. Let that be a lesson Costello, don't leave early if you are blacked out.

2) A Display of Maturity and Class

Basford had a moustache (class) and puked on the sidewalk in front of Denny's as people walked by a (maturity). This occurred after Costello went to bed and before the late night craps run (See #5). We decided to go to Denny's and as we were waiting for our table, I was reminiscing on the first time the 3 of us went to Vegas and how we went to Denny's at the cheapest casino on the strip (Casino Royale). I had just mentioned how we haven't progressed much in the 5 years between that first trip and our current trip. On cue, Basford mumbles some gibberish, leads over the rail, and pulls the trigger. Clarke and I could barely stand up because we were laughing so hard.

1) Greatest Craps Story Ever

This story is unreal.... I can't explain it properly in writing. All you need to know is the following:

Basford and I were at a $10 craps table killing time before our flights on Monday and left the table with over $2,000 each... and if we knew what were doing, it would've been way more.

Every player at the table left with several thousand dollars each.... several.

This was because of two hilarious middle-aged asian men and their elderly senile mother. Between the 3 of them, the won about $40,000!!!! They rolled the dice for about an hour each.

There were 3 pit bosses watching and they had to bring out more chips to re-stock the table.

I love craps!!!!!

I LOVE VEGAS!!!!

Inexcusable Excuses

2009-01-27T08:43:00.003-05:00

I was trying to think of a witty way to post this, but I'm too pissed to come up with anything, so I'll get right to it.

I won't be there this weekend. I know, I'm a douche rocket.

We had a basketball game cancelled due to wind chill (yes, freaking wind chill) a few weeks ago. They just told me YESTERDAY that it was rescheduled for Saturday (without my consent). I tried to call and change my flight so I could still come Sunday, but it's way too expensive now. I actually would've come just to be there for about 12 hours, but I can't afford it.

I aplogize to everyone for backing out at the last second; Like I said, I basically feel like a total ass. I told Cos, if you guys want my share of $$$ for the hotel, I'll mail it to you.

The only positive side of this shit-sack is that I have a voucher for a plane ticket and no plans to fly anywhere. I'd love to visit anyone for spring break or during the summer, so if you're looking for a house guest, let me know.

Enjoy the gambling, boozing, strippers, and Superbowl for me. I'll be busy playing with my new snowblower and watching game film of us getting our ass kicked on the court.

Sorry Dudes,

AG

Las Vegas Superbowl

2009-01-25T17:18:00.000-05:00

Las Vegas Superbowl Trip 2009

Remember Me?

2009-01-18T18:29:00.002-05:00

Does anybody remember this cop's name? (I keep calling him "Harmonica Mike" in my head)

Sas & Clarke appear in the Rocky Mountain News

2008-12-31T10:00:00.001-05:00

http://www.rockymountainnews.com/news/2008/dec/30/some-fans-sad-but-few-are-surprised/

I'm probably going to be hanged for my quote and Sas's quote doesn't even make any sense.

Best Music Videos of 2008

2008-12-23T19:28:00.002-05:00

Head over to my other blog to see my extensive recap of the best music videos of 2008.

It's extensive.

And for no reason at all, here's a video on how to use a "CD recorder" to get fresh with your girlfriend.

Separated at Birth

2008-12-15T18:28:00.011-05:00

left: Heisman winner Sam Bradford
right: Mercer Mayer critter from books like "Just me and my Dad"

are we human, or are we dancer?

2008-12-08T20:13:00.003-05:00

...or are we d-bags.

You're worrying me Costello. After news of the guitar club road trip and then this video, I'm afraid you're helping raise a generation of these guys.

Actually, I really liked that song. But I think that guy is a better actor than a singer.

Techno and NASCAR Steve's Room

2008-12-03T17:37:00.003-05:00

I saw this video, and it immediately reminded me of the primary reason any of us went into Techno and NASCAR Steve's room freshman year.

Plus, it's actually a beautiful song.

The Definitive BCS Solution

2008-11-02T00:39:00.003-04:00

I have the Master Plan!!!!

Notre Dame joins the Big Ten....

Big Ten East: Ohio State, Michigan, Michigan State, Penn State, Indiana, Northwestern

Big Ten West: Notre Dame, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa, Illinois, Purdue

Lucas Oil Field host the annual Big Ten Championship Game

Utah and Boise State join the Pac Ten...

Pac 10 North: Washington, Washington State, Oregon, Oregon State, Boise State, Utah

Pac 10 South: USC, UCLA, Arizona, Arizona State, Cal, Stanford.

Play Pac 10 Championship in Glendale

Play all 6 Conference Championship Games on the Friday and Saturday after Thanksgiving. Pac 10 and Big 12 can play Friday evening.... 5:00 est and 9:00 est. Play the other 4 games on Saturday.

Now that the 6 BCS conferences all have 12 teams and a conference championship game, we can finally have an 8 team playoff. The 8 teams will be the 6 conference champions and 2 "At Large" bids from non-bcs conferences. The tournament seeding and "At Large" bids can be determined by either the current bcs system or a Selection Committee similar to NCAA Basketball.

I say play the first round playoff games (4 games) on the first Saturday of December at the higher seeds home stadium.

Play the semi finals on New Year's Day to keep the tradition alive.

Play the National Championship Game one week later.

Advantages:

The National Championship will be determined on the field every single year. I am sick of the media telling me which teams and which conferences are good and which ones aren't. It's ridiculous.

Teams will not be "scared" to schedule tough non-conference games due to fear of a lost because they can still make the playoffs by winning their conference. Actually, under the new system, teams will be more likely to schedule tough non-conference games so that the BCS or Selection Committee will give them a high seed (provided they won their conference) and thus grant them a home playoff game. In short, the regular season will be as intriguing as ever.

Every conference having a Conference Championship would be awesome.

Every team has chance to win the National Championship. Currently, a non-bcs team has no chance at making the National Championship game. The "At Large" bids will give teams like BYU, TCU, Fresno State, Ball State, etc a chance to make a "Cinderella" run.

The prestigious bowls can still exist and be used as semi final games.

The crappy bowls can still exist for degenerate gamblers.

Disadvantages:

The four teams who lose the first round playoff games would be shut out of bowls.

Costello, invite Lee Corso to join this blog.

Thanks.

All Hallow's Eve

2008-10-21T21:56:00.004-04:00

Halloween is coming up, which means everyone is brainstorming a costume is that is one of the following:

a) a current pop culture reference (palin)
b) an ironic pop culture reference (joe the plummer)
c) an outdated pop culture reference (quayle)
d) an offensive pop culture reference (cheney)

I was taking a stroll down foggy memory lane, reminiscing over costumes of UD Halloween past:

Freshmen Year - The Seamen (pre-Dobmeier's torpedo down the hill)

Sophomore Year - Sonny & Cher (no picture available...I was Cher, so that's a good thing)

Junior Year - 3 Globetrotters and 1 frog (plenty of video available...soon to hit youtube)

Senior Year - art (costume now resides in my living room...as art)

Since college, I've been art (yes, again), Napoleon Dynamite, Kanye West, Dr. Acula (get it?), and Marty McFly.

And tonight, I got the crux of my costume this year, a custom-made pair of adidas Sambas that will match my mustache (you read right...a mustache) and allow me to complete my transformation into Ned Zissou:

And finally, to the point of the post:

What is everyone dressing as for Halloween?

2008-10-14T15:53:00.003-04:00

Las Vegas Superbowl 2009

If you weren't fortunate to join in the 2006 Vegas Superbowl trip you missed out on some precious memories. Watching the Superbowl at a strip club. Catching a random Coldplay concert. Not seeing David Brent. Costello wearing the same powder blue tux all weekend. Staying at the Casino Royale. Sas trying to pay for a room at the Mirage by the hour. Not going to King's brother's house for a Superbowl BBQ. Outback Steakhouse.

Don't miss out again. January 30 - February 1st 2009. Sas, Costello & myself are all committed. Costello may even have bought his plane ticket. Basford will definitely go. As will Dave (not pictured above). Come one, come all. It will be a blast. RSVP in the comment box below.

Learning the Alphabet: with Mr. Mertle and Jack Brown

2008-10-09T19:58:00.003-04:00

Who would you rather learn the alphabet from?

OR

PS: Can you name the two films I reference in the title of this post (without using imdb.com)

Majestic Carribbean Cruise

2008-09-16T12:04:00.000-04:00

I'll be there.

Pretend Football is Pretend Fun

2008-08-14T13:03:00.003-04:00

Hey, someone, put together a fantasy football league for the ewall of crap kids!

I want to win for pretend.

Thanks to whoever steps up (do it, Sas).

Potpourri

2008-08-05T22:39:00.005-04:00

First on the list, check out this picture of the cast of Goonies:

Could a Goonies 2 be in the works? And if so, is there any possible way that it wouldn't be terrible and/or straight to DVD?

Second, here's a few links of rock and/or roll related material:

My bro's Lollapalooza preview and review
My Radiohead review
My Wilco review (it was a good week in Indy...we cleaned up on Lolla scraps)

And third, just for fun, here's the street that I turned onto when I spent the week with Barger in Miami and I went to class at Florida International University. They're so proud.

Is That You, Schwab?

2008-07-31T23:19:00.002-04:00

I think Gregster is behind this...

You Mess With the Dragons, You Get Jail Time

2008-07-25T11:37:00.004-04:00

How come this never happened on those nights that Ben took the honors kids to the ballpark?

PS: I noticed this at the spirit shop on Brown St., but I find it hilarious that the Dragons feel the need to specify the sport they play on their official logo. Since, you know, people might think they're an indoor floor hockey team...or actual dragons.

Pitchfork Music Festival

2008-07-22T15:56:00.002-04:00

Whew. I just finished writing my Pitchfork Music Festival review. Read it here.

Watching Bravo Is Manly

2008-07-15T11:43:00.004-04:00

The Bravo television network has an odd ability to make any topic appealing:

A show about a lesbian trainer? I'm in!

OCD interior designer? Sign me up!

And of course.......there's Project Runway.

I know nothing about women, fashion, or women's fashion, but I love this show. I've been a fan of this show since its creation 5 years ago. I'll admit, I was sort of forced into watching it by my roommate Leslie. But dammit if Bravo didn't use ridiculous challenges of making clothing out of candy wrappers and dramatic music and video editing to get me hooked. Last season, I wrote a blog after each episode, and plan to do the same this season, which starts tomorrow night at 10 pm.

Here's the link to my Season 5 Preview.

Man up and watch (at the very least, you get to stare at Heidi Klum)!

Am I Hot or Not?

2008-07-11T22:08:00.002-04:00

I'm sick of looking at Schmidt's gay picture every time I visit this page.

I found it

2008-06-26T10:01:00.004-04:00

I mentioned to Ryan how we received our "Mimi Vanderhaven's Fabulous Buys" about a month ago. Usually I toss it aside since it's lame, but for a second I glanced at the cover and saw a familiar face. He told me to scan it in, but I don't have a scanner, so I found it on Mimi's website. Gentlemen, I present to you the May 2008 cover model.

Here is the link if you want to read the article. Todd has a lot of quotes, including some that say things like, Todd says with pleasure, so that's funny. Enjoy!

http://www.mimivanderhaven.com/yourownoasis

Walker's Top Ten List

2008-06-24T21:38:00.002-04:00

First I would like to make a few responses to other posts from the weekend:my

Jill's description of my randomness only encompasses about 12-1 in the afternoon on Saturday (actually I have no idea what time it was, because time doesnt realy have any meaning at UD, there will be more on this later). Also this was only after I tried to break into WaFu (which wasnt open until 4).

Sas, you look good, damn good. I would have called you, but I forgot that I left my phone in my car to charge (because Clarke wouldnt let me use his charger). This forgetfullness led to many moments of panick in which i thought I lost my phone.

My list will not have pictures because the only one I took of the weekend was of my 16 inch sub from subhouse.

Now on to the list (which does not include stuff like 301, 202, and roof ball becuase they have already been covered).

10) Calling Costello when I got into town to meet up, thus leading straight to Millanos.
Now this may not seem like much of anything, but i feel that the irony is pretty obvious that the first place i go to on my triumphant return is a bar that I never ever went to in college.

9) The golf cart service.
One of the great features of reunion weekend is that they have student driving around in golf carts taking you places. This was obviously taken advantage of by us. I think I took the golf cart in a one block radius at least 5 times. Which also lead me to taking a Marriot shuttle from the Deli to 202.

8) Clarke thinking every dude there was a douche.
there was no real reason for this but, there was always a negative comment from Clarke about every guy that we came across that he may or may not have known.

7)Speaking of douches: greg Popum's hair.
Lets just say that if you were to take your hand and slam it against the top of his head, his spikes would pierce all the way though the bone.

6) Staying up for 41 straight hours.
I was aake from 6:15 AM on Friday to somewhere around 1 or two AM Sunday. this is great for two reasons: 1) it takes your buzz to a whole different level and 2) instead of it feeling like a 2 day adventure, if feels more like 4 days.

5) Hanging out with basically the same 7-10 people the whole weekend.
There had to be like 1000 people on campus and we just hung out together the whole time. Now this is not to say there werent some random conversations with some older ladies (I did escort an older lady to a party down Lowes street), having akward conversations with people I knew in college but havent talked to in 5 years, or some of jill's friends at 202, but basically it was the same group the whole time. but I wouldnt have ha it any other way.

4) One word:Tim's.
I hate that place and have definately have been there more times since I graduated than when I was there, but there is a certain charm to people saying "hey lets go to Tims." Also, it takes two days to wash off the marker from your hand.

3)Joe Carrol's Story.
Apparently Joe woke up on saturday in his boxers in the lobby of whereever he was staying, leading some guy to walk past him and yell "Alright". Then he ran into some room and was asking people for some help for a half an hour. And this is all because of.......

2)The Hills
So somehow at like 4 in the morning on saturday me, Joe, and some dude I thought was Joe's friend (but wasnt, he had no idea who he was either) ended up at the Pike house hanging out, drinking beer and eating cake. So then we decide to go to the Hills. not that it was all that special because we were the only 3 there and the bloody mary i had was the spiciest thing that I have ever drank, but it was the Hills until 8 in the morning and it made me feel good. Two other great things 1)you cant beat conversations at the hills and 2) the best is walking out of a dark bar into the morning mist after a 12 hour bender. So we eventually go our seperate ways and I go back to my car, sit on the porch I parked in front of when a a guy comes out of the door and we procede to drink for the next hour or so.

1)The foreign and homey feeling that UD provides.
It is hard to explain if you havent been back in awhile, but they are really putting a lot of money into making that school nice. From the book store, to the shops on brown, to the new dorm, to the new rec center, the place is different. But then again it is exactly the same as it was 5 years ago (espcially 412 Lowes which might be in worse shape now then it was when we destroyed it).
i guess that is what I liked the most, ud is truely the greatest place on earth, and thats no lie.

That took way too long

Jill's Top Ten List

2008-06-24T16:33:00.017-04:00

Hello, gentlemen. I am pleased to be invited to be the first female author of this blog. I definitely think I've earned it, especially after living with 6 boys this weekend. I won't disappoint. I can't think of a more perfect post to start with. And on to my list.

#10 The randomness that is Brendan Walker

Walker showed up to Subhouse with $7 shot glasses for everyone.

Walker ordered 16 inches of heaven, even though according to me 8 inches is the perfect size.
Walker went outside and talked to the whores with kittens on leashes.

And that was just lunch on Saturday.

#9 Hanging with some fun girls

I don't really hang with too many girls, and most of my past roommates turned out to be whores, so I was a little worried about the weekend. Luckily, I had Nichole, Sara, Sarah, Meaghan, and Allison. They were fun. And that's all I needed.

#8 Motorcycle Man

I was talking to Aaron on the phone on the way down when we drove up to this guy. I was laughing so hard I was crying and had to get off the phone. As we approached and Nichole snapped his picture, he waved.

Much to my surprise, Nichole ran into him SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE REUNION. His name was Tony, or "Hollywood" as he's known on the road.

#7 Late night shenanigans at Gardens on Irving

Ryan described "the vacuum treatment" perfectly, but what you don't know is what also can happen if you pass out. He knows: anything that is not bolted down will get stacked on top of you.

Ryan, with a lampshade on his head, a vacuum, plunger, 5 chairs, wendy's bag, and shaving cream.

#6 Being Back

Don't you all get misty eyed, but it was just so great being back. Walking around like we owned the place, seeing familiar faces, exploring the new buildings. You could talk to people like 5 years didn't go by. It was awesome. I love UD.

#5 Becoming friends with Keith Waleskowski

I tried to sneak a picture of him, but he totally caught me and posed. We talked for awhile, took pictures. I ran into him like 6 more times that night and he was awesome and so nice.

#4 People repeatedly telling me how cute my hair was/how awesome my boobs are

Hearing these things will never get old to me. Maybe I love Dayton so much because I am one of the hottest ones there.

I hope I don't get in trouble for posting this picture. Note: The teeth belong to Sara.

#3 Rallying and staying out til 5 on Saturday night/Sunday morning

I didn't think I was going to go out at all Saturday night, but I am so glad I did. I impressed myself by closing Tim's, heading to a late night at Campus South, climbing to the roof, and being one of the last one's to leave. When I rolled in around 5, even Ben was asleep. My only regret: My camera died around 2:30.

#2 Robert, Robert! and Roll-ing Lugg-age

On Saturday afternoon we were getting bored so Sara, Nichole and I decided we were going to take over a porch and start drinking. We looked out their window and saw an apparently uninhabited porch across the street. I went to get beer, they brought the radio. Time went on and more people arrived. Games like porchball, flipcup, and cornhole were played. While we played flipcup, we began chanting. We met this guy Robert at Bdubs the day before. Then we saw him across the street. Every 5 minutes we chanted "Robert, Robert!" and he eventually came over and played. At one time someone walked down the street with rolling luggage. We chanted, "roll-ing lugg-age." Then we thought about what we were saying.

#1 The Porch Party at 202 Lawnview

See above. My favorite way to spend a warm Saturday afternoon. There was no place I would have rather been.

My Reunion Weekend

2008-06-23T23:24:00.004-04:00

This is what I did why guys were busy playing college.....

I think it's time for everyone else to cultivate their own moustache and grow up a bit. We're almost 30... no more flip cup... time for facial hair.

BTW, I wanted this to be a response to Coz's post, but I couldn't upload the image.

A couple of quick hits on what I'm sure was a great weekend....

1.) Did you guys hang out with Popham and Neinaber all weekend, or just for that photo op?

2.) Walker, how many nights do you think you've slept in an automobile? Easily 20 by my estimate.

3.) Did you go to the Hills?

4.) HOW COME I DIDN'T GET ANY DRUNK PHONE CALLS OR TEXTS??? SAS IS FEELING NEGLECT!!!!!

Reunion Weekend - Top Ten List

2008-06-23T13:28:00.011-04:00

Whew.

Here, in no particular order, are 10 of the highlights (some might say lowlights) of this past weekend's reunion:

10. Texting EP

- We thought that attacking EP with a barrage of insulting texts all weekend long would prompt himto whip-it his way all the way to Dayton, but no such luck. We even agreed to use the same insult in all of our texts. I can't write it here, due to obscenity, but when you punch it in your cell phone, the automatic word-finisher-thingy writes "You are a giant puppy." Even though EP didn't come, he contributed greatly to the weekend's success.

9. Ben's DMB Bootlegs

- 5 years ago, there was a teary goodbye between Ben and his cassette tapes. He chose to entrust his 80 recordings of "Grey Street" to Julia, and she kept them tucked away under her bed for safekeeping. When Ben heard the tapes were still around, tears were again shed.

8. 202 Lawnview

- Jill decided that we needed to set up camp...somewhere...anywhere...hey, how about that porch right there! We got a flip cup table, a cornhole set, and Walker's cooler, and our Saturday afternoon took care of itself!

7. The Vacuum Treatment

- How can you entertain yourself and annoy your friends in an empty Garden Apartment? Give 'em the vacuum treatment! It's quite simple. Take a vacuum. Plug it in. Turn it on. Shove it in your friend's face. ***Side note: We were randomly assigned my junior year apartment. You may remember it as the great Irish flag theft of 2001, and also housed a certain midget/Enrique Igesias lover/Olympic speedskater hopeful***

6. My "birthday"

- Megan thought it'd be a nice gesture to tell the band at the Porch Party Saturday night that it was my birthday. I had a few hundred alumni sing happy birthday to me. It was the greatest birthday I never had. ***Side note: by "Porch Party," they meant "Hey, let's put a fake porch in an empty parking lot!" ***Side note 2: Megan gave herself a little birthday present later; an inflatable parrot from Tim's!

5. Walker's accommodations for the weekend.

- He slept in his car. Both nights. Saturday night involved half a sub from Sub House.

4. Campus South rooftop

- How no one ever discovered how easy it was to get on Campus South's roof while we were students is beyond me. Maybe it was because no one cool ever lived in Campus South.

3. Roofball

- Though I'm not a big fan of the game, Toddy K and Garman were running around like giddy little schoolgirls with that damn kickball! ***Side note: "Toddy K" was the nickname Ben gave Karas for the weekend. I believe I was "Coz." Ben is weird.

2. 7 Meyer Attendance

- On the drive home, Ben and I counted 14 out of 32 residents of 7 Meyer that we saw during the weekend. Not a bad attendance rate for the former floor of Dan Patrick.

***not pictured, but seen/awkwardly spoken to: Nate (NASCAR and Techno ditched him), Brent, Danza, Beach, Polka/Silent/Lifeline Steve

1. 301 Stonemill

- Walker, Ben, and I stopped by the old homestead to sit on the porch for bit, and stumbled upon an open living room window. I proceeded to hop through the window, open the front door, and wander around. Here's the attic we all know and love (the Christmas lights, bedsheet, and weed-soaked futons were nowhere to be found):

This easily could have been a Top 20 list, and I'm sure Ben, Doob, Walker, Aaron, Jill, Todd, and Megan will fill in the gaps with their own lists/pics/etc.

Mark your calendars for June 2013!

Jam with Weezer

2008-06-17T22:37:00.004-04:00

Costello, I'm sure you can already play these... it's your dream come true, you better go if they come to Indy.

I have to admit that I didn't know who Scott or Brian were until they introduced themselves.

Some of my favorite parts of this video...

- When they are naming instruments and Brian adds "Metallica"

- "Pork n Beans" is already considered a classic Weezer song, then again every song is classic according to Brian.

- During the "Say It Ain't So" tutorial, when Brian sings "Sweet funk now"

- Scott seams like a big tool, he doesn't say anything until explaining the bridge on "Say It Ain't So".... Make sure it's a Bmaj7 and not a dominant 7.... what a dick.... then he does a horrible job explaining "El Scorcho"... I get the feeling he's the one that every other member of the band secretly dislikes.

Hootenanny intro and how to play em!
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Top 10 Epic Songs of All-Time

2008-06-09T22:24:00.005-04:00

My reasons for creating this post is four-fold. a.) Clarke told me to (See comments from Costello's "I Wish I Knew How to Quit You") b.) The last issue of Rolling Stone had the "100 Greatest Guitar Songs of All Time. The list was horrible so I'm attempting to provide a list worth reading. c.) I'm bored. d.) I just like top 10 lists.

That being said, I'm not exactly sure what makes a song "Epic". Some of the questions I asked and considered for this list include: Is the song longer than usual (I think an "Epic" song should be long.... right?), Does the song deviate from standard song formats, Does the song have an "Epic Moment"?, and Could the song be considered "Visionary" for its time?

These questions formed the basis for the criteria of an "Epic" song... according to me. Some of the songs meet all the criteria, some may not meet any of the criteria... depending on your view. Without any further ado... I present the definitive list of THE MOST EPIC SONGS OF ALL-TIME........

10) Trapped in the Closet by R Kelly.

When I thought about this "song", I didn't know what to do with it. I have no idea what the intent of the song is suppose to be. Is it a joke? Is it an artistic statement? Can it possibly be a narrative based on actual events? I was going to include this song as an "Honorable Mention" but I had a hard time getting to 10, so here it is. BTW, if for some reason you haven't watch the videos yet, please take an hour out of your day do so.

Epic Moment: Doesn't really have one, though my favorite part is when the midget is introduced to the story line.

9) Echoes by Pink Floyd

The Floyd have plenty of songs that could be considered "Epic" and maybe some that deserve to be on this list in lieu of "Echoes", but I chose this song because, as an one time die hard Floyd fanatic, I feel like this song really encompasses the best of the "Golden Age" of Pink Floyd that existed prior to the band becoming uber-famous with the release of Dark Side of the Moon and prior to the band being dominated by Roger Waters direction. I also liked getting stoned and watching "Live at Pompeii" in the attic.

Epic Moment: The interlude between the first and second verse especially the last few bars leading into the second verse.

8) Overture by The Who

The opening track to "Tommy" is the only mostly instrumental song (There are a few lines regarding Captain Walker and his whereabouts) to make the my list. I love how this song sets the tone for the whole album which was definately visionary for it's time.

Epic Moment: About 35 seconds into the song when the horns kick in for the first time.

7) Three Days by Jane's Addiction

I wish Jane's Addiction made more than 2 albums (I'm not counting the one they released 2003). This song, like most of JA's work, doesn't get it's due credit for be awesome. JA, along with the Pixies, were really the first "Alternative" bands. They existed before Nirvana/Pearl Jam but were not a part of the 80's hair metal scene. So when you listen to a song like 3 Days, it's hard to fit it into the context of it's own time, which to me makes it a visionary song. Over 10 minutes long, with 3 distict parts, this song fits all my criteria and should probably be higher on the list.....I guess I don't give JA enough credit either.

Epic Moment: Dave Navarro's Guitar solo with Perry Farrell screaming "All now with wings!"

6) Paranoid Android by Radiohead

You know I have to have Radiohead on the list. Paranoid Android is a modern day "Bohemian Rhapsody" that still sounds futuristic despite being 10 years old. 10 years from now, it will still be ahead of it's time... I don't know if time will ever catch up with this song... If that makes sense.

Epic Moment: Johnny and Ed's 2 guitar solo.... I love the tone they used for the guitars.

5) The End by the Doors

I'm pretty sure Jim Morrison would approve of me classifying this song as "Epic". I think about the Doors every time I drive to L.A. I try to imagine what the city was like when Jim and the gang were playing their music at the small clubs in Hollywood and Sunset Strip. Must have been something.

Epic Moment: "Father?... Yes Son?... I want to kill you.... Mother?.... I want to fuck you all night"

4) Like a Rolling Stone by Bob Dylan

Like Pink Floyd, there are plenty of songs from Dylan's catalog that could be considered "Epic". Maybe "Tangled Up In Blue" would be a better choice, but I'm going with "Rolling Stone" because of the revolutionary factor. It was one of the first long songs (over 6 minutes) to be commercially successful (#2 billboard). Plus it is simply one of the best songs ever.

Epic Moment: The whole song is epic... but the best part is at the beginning of each chorus when he asks "How does it feel?"

3) The Abbey Road Medley by the Beatles

My favorite part of my favorite Beatles album. Technically it's 7 songs that are spliced together to form a 16 minute piece of perfection. One of the songs being titled "The End" which makes two songs of the same name appearing on my list.... interesting.

Epic Moment: "The End"..... opens with the only drum solo Ringo ever did, middle section features guitars solos by John, George, and Paul and a nice little rhyming couplet to close out the album (sans "Her Majesty").

2) Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin

Not really much to explain here...

Epic Moment: The end of course.... "As we wind on down the road...etc"

1) Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen

Like I said at the beginning... I'm not sure how to define "Epic" but I'm pretty sure this is it. It's like porn.... I'm not sure how to describe porn, but I know it when I see it.

Let's end with that.

Sas runs San Diego Marathon

2008-06-01T19:41:00.002-04:00

That's right friends, Sas did it. 26.2 miles in 5 hours and 45 minutes. I didn't train nearly as much as I needed to, so my time wasn't too impressive. I ran a half marathon on Memorial day in 2 hours and 15 minutes, so my goal was to break 5 hours on the Marathon. I had no idea how hard the back 13 would be. I don't know what my split times are, but I think I ran the front half around 2:15 and the back around 3:30. I was so miserable the last 10 miles, I ran a mile and then walked a mile and the ran a mile, etc. I don't think I was running much faster than I was walking. Considering my pace for the second half was less than 4 MPH.

Marathon running is such a mental challenge. I started to "hit the wall" around mile 16-17 and all I could think was "I have 1o more miles to go." I really didn't know if I could make it. When I finally finished, my first thought was "I am never doing that again". But then I started thinking how it would be nice to actually be able to run the whole race an finish around 4 hours. So I may do another one and actually train this time.

Barger, how the hell did you run 50 miles? That is so ridiculous. I could barely walk back to my car after the race, I can't imagine doing 50. Much props.

Well, that's all I got.

My Confused Jacket

2008-05-21T10:35:00.000-04:00

The latest track I've heard from My Morning Jacket's new album Evil Urges blows my mind.

But not in the "I've discovered the future of indie-meets-hippie-meets-psychedelic-meets Skynyrd" way. My mind has been blown in the "what the hell is going on? Someone must have linked to the wrong mp3" way.

I really can't come up with any concrete praise, criticism, suggestions, or insults for the track. I'm at a loss. So I leave it up to you, the reader, to comment on the song. It's called "Highly Suspicious," which is appropriate, because I'm highly suspicious of My Morning Jacket's new direction, which is obviously influenced by these two:

I Wish I Knew How to Quit You

2008-05-15T01:32:00.001-04:00

Just when I think I'm out, they bring me back in.

Weezer is about to release an album (their 3rd eponymous album - which completes the primary color trilogy - , but the first with a cowboy-hatted and mustachioed Rivers Cuomo), and the past three have beaten out of me all hope of their return to greatness. And then they decided to attempt the "Bohemian Rhapsody" of the 2000's.

It's called "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Variations on a Shaker Hymn)" (Rivers is so humble).

A Shaker hymn is a variation of a work/dance song called "Simple Gifts" from 1840's Maine (they knew how to rock). Many will recognize it as "Lord of the Dance" from Bible school.

HERE'S THE SONG (yes, I'm linking to Perezhilton...I don't know how to quit that either):

I took the liberty of identifying the various musical styles they breeze through about a dozen different takes on the classical melody.

Rivers is so cultured.

0:00 - 0:10 - live album
0:11 - 0:33 - 3rd grade piano recital
0:34 - 0:40 - an episode of COPS
0:35 - 1:25 - Limp Bizkit
1:26 - 1:51 - Jason Mraz (I admit I don't know if this actually sounds like Jason Mraz...he was just the 1st tool with a guitar that came to mind)
1:52 - 2:17 - military pledges of allegiance
2:18 - 2:43 - Al Green
2:44 - 3:07 - Blue Album-era Weezer:-)
3:08 - 3:33 - Muppet music video-era Weezer :-(
3:34 - 4:05 - The Rentals
4:06 - 4:37 - Shakespearean "Beverly Hills"-era Weezer
4:38 - 5:10 - Rockapella as a church choir
5:11 - 5:48 - back to Blue album-era Weezer!!

And somehow, this recipe spells musical genius. At least that's what my 17-year-old soul that's stuck in 1997 tells me.

I predict at some point this summer, Garman and I will hear this song played live.

My Racquetball Partner

2008-05-06T11:02:00.004-04:00

Earning an education degree at UD required 2 health credits. One semester, King and I took tae kwon do (the final exam was breaking a board...we both destroyed it...I still have mine...bronzed and mounted on a plaque).

I chose racquetball for my other class, and ended up being partnered with Keith Waleskowski for the semester. Our instructor was so lazy, he never bothered to have us switch out opponent, so every Tuesday afternoon, I battled Keith in that cold, white box. And he killed me. Obviously. That's sort of assumed when your opponent can touch both walls while standing in place. And when you are a weakling simply trying to duck out of the way of that hard blue rubber ball. I think I ended the semester with a 2-30 record.

**side note: Have you guys ever noticed that I'm nicknameless? Doob, King, A-bomb, Clarke Bar, EP, and what do I have? Nothing. Freshmen year, Ben tried repeatedly to give me one, but nothing stuck. however, I'll have you know that there was one person at UD who gave me a nickname. To Keith, when I saw him the racquetball court or at a party, called me "Cos." I have no idea why.

Anyway, I bring this up because over at Flyer Fieldhouse, they scored an email interview with Keith, who has been tearing it up in Europe since garduating from UD. I really think that email interviews are more interesting, especially for athletes, because they're more at ease, can go off on tangents, and can fully explain themselves. In a regular interview, I doubt Sean Finn or Tim's would come up.

Costello Plagiarizes Himself...Ew.

2008-04-21T15:11:00.002-04:00

I went to see Spoon this weekend. Here's my review of the show.

I strongly recommend we start using this blog to fill each other in on concerts we get to see.

Like Weezer and NKOTB...I'm Back!

2008-04-17T10:55:00.003-04:00

Esteemed partners in stupidity,

I can't believe I didn't check this blog in almost a month. I'd like to say I've been so busy I didn't have time, but honestly, I haven't done shit in the last few weeks. I mean, I get paid to do the crossword puzzle and take naps right now (since I have a student teacher). You will probably get a laugh out of the fact that I am officially in a "Biggest Loser" competition with a bunch of teachers at our school. Everyone threw in $50 and whoever loses the highest percentage of lard wins the pot (as in kitty/jackpot/reward...not the other kind). We started on spring break and after about a month, my fat ass is in first place! So the most time consuming thing I've been doing lately is NOT eating and NOT drinking an entire case every weekend.

I make no excuse for my absence, especially after getting called out by Sas after the longest blog comment of all time (I felt like I was reading a Star Wars introduction as the lines just kept scrolling and scrolling and scrolling). However, I did have a few insights on the last few blogs to share...

1. The Dayton Dragons "Roadtrip"--First, does this qualify as a "roadtrip"? If that's the case, then anytime we went in a car to a bar qualifies, which opens up a staggering array of hilarious stupidity. Secondly, this game was the first time I ever hung out with my wife...I actually participated in the quizzing of the youth. In fact, Jill claims to have found it endearing that I was "good with kids". Jill and I considered this day our "anniversary" until we got married (she did because that's when she started "liking me", I did because it was the first time I realized I could hook up with her!) And as far as being "good with kids", we usually fail to mention that I was hammered and drinking beer in front of the kids during the quiz session. At any rate, I'm glad to have this day recognized by everyone...a truly landmark day in my personal UD experience.

2. The Crime Log--Cos, in your update to your post, you state that the editoral is "complaining" about the repetetiveness of the crime logs. While he does to some extent, don't overlook the last paragraph:

"Crime logs of the past focused less on repeating bland incident reports and included reports of a home that was burglarized for Milwaukee’s Best beer valued at $2.50, a student who complained about receiving calls from an unknown male who sounded like “the Terminator” and a suspicious individual outside a home who asked “residents for change and received a Capri Sun juice box.”

In essence, this kid is saying: the crime log used to be even more over-the-top-idiotic. He actually wants MORE humor.

Side note--his first example of a burglarized Beast probably refers to the time Jill single-handedly fought off an Emmitt Smith-jersey wearing, crackhead burglar who tried to steal her laptop and 3 cans of beast.

Lastly, let me reiterate, you all should come to the reunion weekend at UD in June. Jill and I have a 2 bedroom suite reserved so there will be plenty of room to crash. I think Costello and possible Doobie will be in attendance. EP? Any other takers? Give me a call if you have any interest. (Katie Clark is getting married that weekend too...we could all crash it!)

I'll make sure I check back more often and try to step my game up to approach the level of his Royal Blogness, Sas Q. Watch.

-AG-

Hey J.D. Salinger, er, Basford, throw up a post once would ya?

The Triumphant Return of the Crime Log

2008-04-14T12:00:00.005-04:00

Awhile back, I mentioned that Flyer News had stopped publishing the much-loved crime log, at least in the online version of the paper.

Well, today I checked, and it's back, in all it's petty and ridiculous glory:

Please note in the 2nd entry and the majority of the article focuses on the fact that the girl doesn't know her own insurance company's name, but plans to call her parents this weekend, and in the 3rd entry, someone claims that 3 articles of clothing cost $600 (I will never understand why college kids steal laundry. However, I do understand why Basford kicked that girl's underwear freshman year...Basford, where are you?).

I think whoever writes the crime log may have the dryest sense of humor and wit I've ever read. They should write a movie based on the crime log archives. Those assholes from Superbad can star in it.

**Update**

I just found a pretty funny editorial article from some kid complaining that the crime log is too repetitive. Classic.

Prime Minister's Questions

2008-04-10T21:06:00.002-04:00

I know how much we all enjoyed watching the Prime Ministers Questions every now and then back in school...

As a proud Englishman, it brings me great pleasure to share this video:

Some of the highlights:

0:22 mark: the reaction of the Conservatives is priceless. I really wish the Senate operated this way.

1:52 mark: David Cameron's hilarious response complete with the full support of the guy sitting right behind him.

2:00 mark: the guy on the right who i'm pretty sure is either asleep (quite common in the House of Commons) or about 2 seconds away from groping the lady to his right.

4:20 mark: both sides get into the debate.

Quite the spectacle. I really like the Speaker who rules over this whole affair. The Labor Party used to be pretty hilarious, but I think Cameron & the Conservatives may be a lot of fun to drink with now. Plus Cameron is a big Radiohead fan.

Road Trips

2008-04-04T01:11:00.003-04:00

The blog rate has been slow of late... wtf?

I was in the break room drinking coffee today at work and out of no where I just started laughing out loud. One of my coworkers looked at me and asked "What's so funny?" I shook my head and said "Nothing... you wouldn't understand."

Did you ever have an obscured moment from your past just randomly jump inside your head? I had two today... and they happened almost simultaneously... hence the laugh out loud.

The first thing I thought about was the time at 426 when EP fell down the stairs. It's a seldom told story, but absolutely hilarious. Of course, you really had to be there, but you can all appreciated the magnitude of this event. It was such a loud noise, followed by about 30 minutes of gut-splitting laughter. It was a much like the time he fell through the shower current at 412... the only difference was more people saw it... and he had clothes on when he fell down the stairs... I think.

That made me think about the time EP, Kelly and Trisket drove to Connecticut in the middle of the night to see Trisket's obsession. So ridiculous....

But that led me to thinking about the time Schawb, Schmidt, Sara, and myself made a road trip to Indianapolis to see Melissa... aka "Mrs. Sas". It was such a random trip with a random group of people (actually Schawb is the only reason this would be considered a random grouping of individuals). Nonetheless, it got me thinking about college road trips in general.

Here's some of my favorites... in list format as per usual.... although the order doesn't matter because I'm just going to list them as they come to mind.

1. Daytona 2004.... enough said. My favorite part was dropping Garman off at McDonald's in the middle of South Carolina with the clear understanding that this may be the last time I ever see him again.

2. Schmidt, King, Leo, Walker, and Myself to Bowling Green... with a keg in the car. BG was on spring break, so no one was on campus but us... Only we would go to another campus while they are on spring break.

3. Daytona 20002... First in ... First out.... This is story to be told in person. My favorite moment was when we were getting kicked out of the hotel room. Walker was passed out on the bed with all kind of shit scatter about his person... by shit I mean a coffee maker, toaster, lamp shades, leg broken off the table... pretty much anything we could get a hold of. Meanwhile, there is about 4 cops and 4 Breakaway Tour staff and 1 hotel representative in the room telling us we have to be gone by 9:00 am. Leo and I are so geeked that we just keep laughing at each other... Schmidt is trying to convince the cops that there is no weed in the hotel room... at one time he is banging on his chest and yelling "Drug test me motherfucker". Leo threatens to kick the ass of one of the Breakaway Tour people if he ever sees him on campus.... an idle threat to say the least considering Breakaway Tours was based out of Canada. If I was getting laid every night, I really would have been a rock star that weekend.

4. I remember a random group of us going to see Dark Star Orchestra at Bogarts... it was like Todd Karas and his roomate Adam, Ep, Hippie, and myslef.

5. Dayton Dragons game... someone needs to fill in the details... I know I was there and for some reason I think we got free tickets from some bullshit Clarke was involved with. If my memory serves me correctly, I think Jill was quizzing some 10 year old on state capitals while we threw empty beast cans into the bullpen... That sounds about right... I'll stick with that story until I hear differently.

Someone tell some funny road trip stories or add to the one's I already listed.

Announcing My Presence with Authority

2008-03-19T20:39:00.003-04:00

I talked to EP last night and realized that I'm not the only one who loves this blog and looks at it all the time. Every time I read a new post, I laugh my ass off sitting in the corner of my classroom while my student teacher is trying to teach a lesson (she is a pagaent girl by the way...that will have to be a blog by itself).

Anyways, EP urged me to write something new, so here it is. I'm actually just going to respond to things in the comments of the last few blogs, but I'm making it a new blog because no one goes back to read the comments after a few days. Consider it a pu-pu platter of topics or Potpourri if you're a Jeopardy fan.

#1--EP, you're the only one who calls it "the Nienaber incident of 2000". We still all just call it "the time when EP and Nienaber spooned." Then when someone starts telling the story, Costello jumps in and yells "I want the kid in the red hat."

#2--EP, don't feel so bad...you're not the only one who had horrific injuries go unnoticed. Costello was like 4 minutes from dying and no one knew it. In fact, I think the only person who cared was our Acting professor--what was her name Cos? Looking back on that, I think she was trying to Cougar you. You should've tapped that.

#3--I told this to EP last night--I couldn't be more proud of my 1 appearance on the wall of quotes. No one who stepped foot in 301 smoked LESS weed than me except Costello...Yet, what was my one nugget of wisdom--a quote about pot! I can't wait until my students google my name and find that.

#4--Clarke, EP claims you told him a story about a time where I ridiculed you and tried to convert you to Catholicism. While I totally believe it, I just don't remember it. First of all, I'm not Catholic. Second of all, I don't even believe in God. Thus, I must have been drunk, or just trying to piss you off (probably both). Either that or it was the same night I made the quote discussed in #3. Honestly, the only thing I remember about that night was watching Live at Pompeii and passing out on the couch.

#5--Trivia: The title of my blog is a quote from which movie? Now, don't go looking it up and cheating like Sas OBVIOUSLY did when he guessed on all the quotes.

#6--UD looked solid against the vaunted CSU vikings tonight. Are you on spring break next week Cos? If UD plays at OSU on Tuesday or Wednesday we should meet up with Karas and go.

One Shining Moment

2008-03-18T14:35:00.003-04:00

Yo,

I set up a bracket challenge through ESPN.

The group name is 301 Stonemill. The password is wall of crap.

And to get everyone in the madness mood, here's an article I wrote last year about everyone's favorite tradition (well, at least it's a favorite of mine and Ben's), the "One Shining Moment" montage they show at the end of the championship game.

As Final Four week approaches, my thoughts always turn to the many memories of watching the games with friends and family. As a sophomore in high school, the Final Four fell on spring break, and was in Indianapolis. My friends and I took the Metro downtown, and were greeted by hummers filled with Mountain Dew (they were unveiling their wide-mouth can), the new Reebok DMX running shoe (you could take a pair for a trial run, literally), and our radio debut, giving shout-outs on Hoosier Hot 96! As high schoolers, there's nothing better than walking through the streets of downtown Indy, and yelling "Minnesotaaaaaaaa" or "UK sucks" just to hear the random reaction of cheers and boos from others walking around.

I remember watching IU beat Oklahoma in 2002, and then listening to my friend Bill call Aaron McGhee's dorm room (Oklahoma has a ridiculously simple student directory on their website,or at least they did in 2002) precisely as the buzzer sounded to leave a rude comment or five.

I also think about my annual phone call to Arizona, where my friend Ben is undoubtedly watching CBS' tear jerking montage set to "One Shining Moment." Ben's Final Four highlight came in 2000 when he sent conciliatory emails to Billy Donovan and Mike Miller. He got no response. He also sent Mateen Cleaves an email, suggesting that me might want to consider pressing charges for what Miller did to his ankle. He got no response.

My original intention was to research, collect, and comment on the montages from years past, but fortunately, someone else did all the work for me! And so I give you the last 10 years of "One Shining Moment," brought to you by The Morning After.

I'll give you one montage, to whet your whistle. It's from 2005, and the highlights include, but are not limited to:

- the Nevada Wolf Pack mascot getting rejected as he tries to console the Nevada player on the bench (when will people realize that mascots aren't simply clowns for our amusement. they can offer emotional support as well, if we just let them!).

- the Fairleigh player "flexing" his "bicep"

- the Lachey, Judd, Murray celebrity mini-montage

- the greatest jersey name pop in history (no one does it better than Bucknell, and everyone knows that 2005 was the year of the jersey pop)

See the other 9 years of moments here.

Flyers Get Screwed

2008-03-16T19:02:00.003-04:00

I've been writing this blog in my head for the past three days, now that the NCAA tournament brackets have been revealed, I present to anyone who will listen concrete evidence that the Flyers got completely screwed by the "Selection Committee".

According to RealtimeRPI.com (Thanks Walker), the following at-large teams have a lower RPI ranking then the Flyers, #34.

#35 Arkansas

#36 St. Mary's

#37 South Alabama

#39 Texas A&M

#40 Arizona

#41 St. Joseph's

#43 Mississippi State

#44 Baylor

#47 Purdue

#49 Villanova

#53 Kansas State

#58 Oregon

#59 Kentucky

That's 13 teams with a lower a RPI!!!! Every team with a higher RPI than UD made the tournament except Illinois State, #32.

Obviously UD had plenty of opportunities to lock up a spot. If they could have beat Xavier once out of the three chances or win a couple more games in conference, they would have certainly made the tournament. But every team that is "on the bubble" is there because of missed opportunities during the season. Let's look at the credentials of some of these teams that made the tournament instead of UD.

South Alabama.

No team has done less and been more rewarded than this mediocre team from the Sun Belt Conference. RPI #37, Strength of Schedule (S0s) #127. The best wins this team has is against Mississipi State (RPI #43) and two wins against Western Kentucky (RPI #38). Out of 31 conferences, the Sun Belt was ranked 15. For the record, the Atlantic 10 was ranked 7th. Playing in a poor conference, South Alabama didn't even make it to the conference championship game losing to Middle Tennessee State in the conference semi-finals. Yet they not only get an at large bid, they got a 10 seed and will play it's first round game in Birmingham against Butler. How does this happen???? South Alabama is a higher seed than St. Joe's and A10 tournament champion Temple??? They shouldn't even be in the damn tournament to begin with.

St. Mary's

This team has been over-ranked all year. Despite their best efforts to prove to the country that they don't belong, the "Selection Committee" puts them in the tournament giving the West Coast Conference (Ranked 14) three teams in the dance. How does the WCC get 3 teams to the tournament? And how is St. Mary's also seeded higher than St. Joe's and Temple? St. Mary's RPI is 36 and SOS is 138. Their best wins were against Gonzaga (at home) Drake (at Home) and Oregon (at Home). They had no impressive road victories, and just like South Alabama, they didn't even make the finals of their weak conference tournament.

St. Joseph's

The only accomplishment St. Joe's had this year was beating Xavier twice and beating UMASS twice. St. Joe's and UD's resumes are very similar. They went 9-7 in the A-10, UD went 8-8. St Joe's had two wins over top 15 programs (Xavier twice). UD had two nice wins over top 15 programs (Pitt and Louisville). So how does one separate two comparable teams? I know, how about head to head play? UD beat St. Joe's in the last game of the regular season, yet despite having a lower RPI (41) and a lower SOS (51) the selection committee decides to give St. Joe's the nod over the Flyers. Bear in mind that Temple beat St. Joe's twice this year while UD defeated Temple in their only match up. Of course St. Joe's also beat UMASS twice while UMASS defeated Dayton in their only match up. Both UD and St. Joe's had bad losses to weak A10 teams Duquense and LaSalle. I think it's pretty clear that UD and St. Joe's were fairly even. It seems like the tie-breaker was performance against Xavier rather than head to head. The selection committee has a difficult task, especially when you have to compare teams from different conferences and different schedules. I would think that the committee would welcome the chance to use a head to head scenario as a tie breaker.

I could write similar paragraphs for each of these teams that received at-large bids over UD. Without actually doing research, I can say that the Big 12 probably doesn't deserve to get Baylor, Kansas State, and Texas A&M in the tournament. UD had more impressive wins against Big East foes than Villanova did. Kentucky went 18-12 and lost by 16 points to Gardner Webb and all their wins were at home.

The A-10 got the shaft.

Tne End of An Era at Kettering

2008-03-14T10:10:00.005-04:00

I lifted this editorial article from the most recent edition of Flyer News. At first, I was heartbroken. I mean, this isn't what Clarke worked so hard for (those 4 or 5 days he was employed at Kettering)! My memory isn't as sharp as Sas', so you'll all have to help me out on the nicknames we gave the VWK staff, the dumb eating contests I assume we challenged each other to, etc.

Volume 55, Number 33

Wonderful era in UD dining ends, farewell all-you-can-eat
Corey Griffin

A great era of dining at the University of Dayton has come to an end. The Virginia W. Kettering cafeteria has shut down to change its style from a full buffet to a la carte.
Shame on you, Dining Services.

In a day of the flex plan, inflation and rising food costs, the other cafeterias aren’t quite giving students what they need.

A walk through the Kennedy Union cafeteria showed Vitamin Water priced at $2.50 for a 20 oz. bottle, a dollar for a cookie less than the size of a palm, and $4 for a small group of undersized chicken strips. A sign placed next to the fruit advertised that the price of the healthy snacks had skyrocketed to a whopping $3.75 per plastic container.

That being said, $6.25 (up 50 cents from the 2005-2006 school year) was a deal that students could not pass up. It was a deal where they could actually fill up their stomachs.

Take, for example, the Emporium. If an average student is to visit the convenience store in Marianist Hall, they will be greeted with a deli line reaching the building’s lobby. They’ll wait in line for 20-25 minutes to get their sandwich, and then wait another five minutes in the line for the cash register.

Another rude awakening will be when their meal plan will cover only a $3 sandwich, a $1.34 bottle of Coca-Cola (because you have to include the tax now), and maybe an overpriced $2.19 container of grapes. That’s a $6.53 lunch. And if you decide to do this everyday, you’d better be ready to call mom and dad to put more money on your Flyer Express to make it through the last month of the school year — if you’re on the flex meal plan.

At VWK, things were different. Students could fill up on fruits and vegetables — as many as they wanted. They could fill up on cheeseburgers, desserts and the friendly ice cream machines. Unfortunately, the days of a good deal are gone at UD.

When students signed on for the flex plan, they were told that about a third of their money would go to cafeteria costs. Shouldn’t this be enough to run a cafeteria that serves less-than-desirable food anyway?

UD says that they are “losing money” on the VWK cafeteria — yeah, because students are actually eating what they need to, in order to have enough energy to make it through a long school day.

Maybe the university should blame some of the money losses to big projects where money could have been spent differently. And the spending spree will continue with the campus master plan. While students at public institutions in the state will benefit from the freezing of tuition costs, Dayton students will be burdened with tuition bills that have been skyrocketing for years.

Sure, many of these projects have given us opportunities and some have been very beneficial to the university, but maybe scaling back some of these projects would prove to be more cost effective and achieve the same result.

I know what you're thinking: "Dammit, Costello. Why didn't you link to the crime log?! I just read that whiny kid's rant, assuming it would somehow connect to random theft and public urination!!" Sadly, they have apparently stopped publishing the crime log. I had to go all the way back to April of 2007 to find one: Enjoy.

The Quote Board *Updated with "Guess the Speaker" Quiz!

2008-03-06T22:54:00.012-05:00

My friends, I have unearthed the hallowed quote board from 301's wall of crap. You remember the wall of crap, right? It was that wall on your right side as you went up the first flight of stairs, on your way to shave greg's head or play video games in the attic. If memory serves me, there were hundreds of Jimmy John's menus.

Alright. Here's the deal. I'm going to list the quotes, and keep the identity of the speakers a mystery (unless you want to be a cheater and enlarge the picture I posted....don't do it, cheater!). It's up to you to determine who said the quote (I'll give you a clue: Sas said half of them, Greg makes one appearance, and one quote is from a girl). Let's see if we have any scrap of a memory left!

Ok. Here we go. Enjoy the idiocy, and put your guesses, commentary, and further insults/hilarity in the comments!

1. “It’s like having a mentally handicapped roommate.”

2. “They say I give them hell, but I just tell the truth, and they think it’s hell.”

3. “You don’t know me.”

4. “Go ahead and steal my dream!”

5. “I was barkin’ up the right trees, you gotta grab the apples.”

6. “But I wanna be with friends.”

7. “I am Rock and Roll personifed.”

8. “Walker, you can throw sticks at me, but you will never hurt me.”

9. “I’ve never said this, but I’m willing to conspire to commit murder.”

10. “What the fuck man? Chinese people don’t believe in God!”

11. “Dude, I pulled a cancer patient’s wig off in second grade.”

12. “What are we doin’? We’re sitting around talking about which Golden Girl we would screw!”

13. “Sas is getting upset!”

14. “My herd is hobbling.”

15. “Last time I said that I almost ran over an old lady and her dog.”

16. “If I was gay, I could get any guy I wanted.”

17. “We’re in college, dude; we can do whatever we want!”

18. “I’ll do whatever my crew wants me to do as long as they follow me around and say ‘Keep it real, Sas’.”

19. “Maybe I am gay!”

20. “Pot is the only reason we are talking about God and human existence.”

21. “I didn’t do anything…well, I did get out of hand. I threatened to kill him.”

22. “You know what, Sas? I bet Godzilla did have a bad back. He was a tall fucking dinosaur!”

23. “In case you guys haven’t guessed, I’m pretty high.”

24. “What am I? Humpty fuckin’ Dumpty?”

25. “My ticket board saddens me now. It’s a sad day for America.”

26. “Fuck me! Fuck you!”

27. “It almost tastes like…nothing.”

28. “I’m barely alive, but definitely going to the Hills.”

29. “If you think about it, grizzly bears eat fresh salmon every day. I love salmon, so I think I want to be a grizzly bear.”

30. “One day, I’m just gonna shoot you in the face.”

31. “Oh, naw, dude, if it was midnight I’d be at Tim’s, like, wheeeeeeee.”

32. “I come up with a lot of crazy stuff when I’m stone…If I wrote it all down, I’d be rich.”

33. “I’m not racist! The eliminator is racist!”

34. “What would I do if I moved into a new house and there was 20 tons of pot in the wall? I’d set my house on fire and get real high.”

35. “This is an inappropriate place to tear off my symbol of closeness to God.”

36. “Welcome to Toddy Town.”

Life Imitating Art

2008-03-04T22:29:00.004-05:00

Lorin Mazzel was on The Daily Show last night. The conductor of one of the most famous orchestras in the world looks just like Dewey Largo of Springfield Elementary. I can't believe The Daily Show writers didn't pick up on this... they must still be rusty from the strike.

The Official Alumni Weekend Schedule of Events

2008-02-24T17:53:00.003-05:00

I was asked in a recent phone conversation with "Clarke Bomb" if I would be attending reunion weekend this summer. I'm pretty sure I said "No" before he was even finished asking the question, but after putting a little more thought into this prospect, I thinking I'm 5o/50. Since no one is getting married this year, Alumni Weekend may be necessary to keep the Chain of Morons united.

I was looking at the UD website to see what sort of events the University had planned for their precious alumni. Just like when I was in college, I have no intention of doing any of that crap. Instead, I offer the Official Alumni Weekend Schedule of Events:

Friday:

First person to arrive must buy a keg for Friday night's "Late Night"

I say we get a tee time at Kittyhawk, I challenge Clarke and Garman to a skins match. Loser buys Sub House. (I know it's usually Chipotle, but one of my goals this weekend is to hit up all the classic UD food establishments.)

After golf, we go to the Hills and wait for everyone to arrive... and then it's a free for all.

Optional activity: Go to cemetery and get high with EP.

Saturday:

12:00 Tanks or Breakfast Club

1:00 - 5:00 Porch drinking, cornhole, and listening to Widespread Panic and String Cheese Incident.

5:00 Wa Fu

6:00-8:00 Flip cup tournament.

8:00 - 2:00 - tour of bars.

Fieldhouse... 1 fishbowl and then we leave... don't want to spend too much time at the "dorks" bar.

Flannigans... Well drinks until we fill the table with empties.

B-dubs / Millano's... I heard the refurbished Millano's is nice, there's always B-dubs to fall back on.

Tim's... of couse, end the night dancing to Kelly Clarkeson's "Since You've Been Gone".

As an alternative to Saturday's day time activities, we could go "ca-brewing". I never partook in this ritual, so weather-permitting, I would be down.

Sunday:

12:00 - ?

We go to B-Dubs for wings and recount the weekends events until one by one we leave.

Sounds like a good time.

Seriously, I'm legitimately considering doing this. I know Costello, Garman, and Dobmeirer have already committed. I'm sure Walker and King would make the drive.

For the people who have to fly... that being Clarke, Basford, EP, and Barger, if 2 of the 4 go, you can count me in as well.

Amendments to the Official Schedule must be approved by Sas.

Here's to you Mrs. Obama

2008-02-18T00:29:00.005-05:00

I saw Michelle Obama on Larry King Live for the firs time.

Is she related to Condoleezza Rice? or is it that I just think all black woman look alike?

Goes to show... the younger sista is always better looking.

Late-night shows plagiarize Devin DeFago

2008-02-06T13:26:00.000-05:00

For those of you who have been following television without writers, it's been a lot of Howie Mandel and no The Office. But not all has been lost. Conan is at the top of his game with no writers behind him. Jon Stewart has improved in the last two weeks, and Colbert is claiming the title of most inventive talk show host since Carson (Johnny, not Daly).

From the very start, Conan's strategy was to waste as much air time as possible. He sang bluegrass. He climbed the studio catwalk. . He spun his wedding ring. He had German techno parties. He took over directing of the show, while hosting. He emptied vending machines. He installed a zip line.

And then Colbert and Stewart decided to join in on the fun, and create a fake rivalry that they could use to kill time on all three shows. It culminated last night when the three almost fought on The Daily Show, then almost fought on The Colbert Report, and then actually fought on Late Night:

Now to my point: That brawl was a blatent rip-off of the majority of the film classic, directed by boy wonder Devin DeFago and starring the likes of Brennan Basford, JP Sullivan, Steve Kowalenko, Greg Schwab, and yours truly. I mean come on! Colbert was obviously stealing the butt ninja's moves!

I would post some Freehold clips to compare, but Devin doesn't have it on youtube yet. I've got a copy of the film, but I'm an idiot and can't get it on the world wide interweb.

So what's your favorite Freehold scene? I like when EP rusn out of the classroom and looks into the camera.

What's Chapping Sas' Ass 1/27/08

2008-01-27T23:29:00.000-05:00

I went to the Cavs / Lakers game today. I can't believe how ridiculous live NBA games are these days. When did it become necessary to fill every single stop in the action with "filler entertainment"? Here's what I remember.

First off, the introduction are so extravagent. At the Staples Center, large white sheets accend from the overhead scoreboard creating a backdrop on which they show past Lakers highlights while playing the Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil"... you know the part I'm talking about... "Please to meet you, hope you guessed my name". Seriously lame. It was Jordan's Bulls that first started doing the cool introductions... back then it was fresh and unique... now it's just so sadly cliche and corny.

Then there's the National Anthem. I have no problem with this tradition of honoring our country before sporting events. I do have a problem with the whole place erupting before the songs over. "Oh say does that Star-Spangled Banner yet wave?"... That is a rhetorical question. Yet it inevitably gets a reply from 10,000 screeming fans. For some reason this annoys me.

Before the game is about to tip off, we are serenaded by the sweet riff of "Jump" by Van Halen... How very clever. And of course we are reminded that if the Lakers win and hold their opponent to under 100 points, everyone receives two free tacos from Jack in the Box.

1st Quarter

Lakers Girls dance routine. The great thing about the Laker's Girls dance rountines is that they always end with the girls on the floor and the PA announcer saying "Lakers Girls". Then they all get up, dance and twirl themselves back to their position under the hoops until the next timeout. It's like the PA announcer has "Pavlov Dog" control over them.

There was the Carl Jr lucky row contest. Everyone in Section 314, Row 9 recieved a $1 gift certificate to said fast food chain and one lucky winner received a $100 gift certificate. I was in Section 316, Row 6... so close to my dreams.

There was the Jiffy Lube free oil change give away. Animated cars racing on the Jumbo-tron. The white car won, so the contestant wearing the white shirt receives a free oil change from Jiffy Lube. She looked happy.

"Laker Girls"

2nd Quarter

The PA announcer and Jumbo-tron tell the crowd to "Make Some Noise" while they measure the decibal level on the scoreboard.

"Laker Girls"

"Star Search".... Cameramen pan the audience for clebrities. Kayne, Jack Nicholson, and some other black guy I didn't recognize were at the game.

"Laker Girls"

Halftime.

I like half time shows. For me, this is where all the above mentioned crap belongs. This particular day there was a skills competition in which two contestants had to dribble through some cones, make a layup, throw a ball through a hoop, and make a foul shot. There is a level of entertainment in watching ordinary Joes trying not to embarass themselves.

3rd Quarter

"Laker Girls"

I also noticed that the section directly behind the basket that the Cavs are shooting at are now equipped with "thundersticks" to distract the players as they attempt their free throws. These were not present in the first half, which makes me conclude that they only hand them out if the Lakers are losing at halftime.

"Kiss Cam" This fan favorite was the most terrifying 2 minutes of my life... like I want to kiss my girlfriend while everyone watches on the Jumbo-tron. Some how I would mess up. Today's "Kiss Cam" summed up my feelings in one sequence of events. Everything is going smoothly, the camera pans from couple to couple and they give eachother a little peck, or ham it up for a few seconds and pretend to make out... either way the crowd applauds and we move on to the next couple. Then they get to this guy and girl who obviously don't even no eachother, they just happen to be sitting togeather at the game. Of course the camera stays on them while the crowd boos as the song "Kiss Me" is blaring on the sound system. The two strangers never give kiss and the cameraman eventually moves on. But at the end of the "Kiss Cam" segment, the cameraman goes back to the two strangers who still refuse to kiss and the crowd again boos like crazy. The chick was pretty hot, so I really felt for this guy. Here he is trying to enjoy Kobe vs LeBron on a Sunday afternoon, and he finds himself being pressured by 10,000 people to kiss a comlete stranger. I think he should sue the Lakers for sexual harassment... I think he would settle for season tickets for life and it would also be the end of "Kiss Cam".

4th quarter

Prior to the fourth quarter, there was the half court shot worth $135,000. Air ball. The Mirage will add another $5,000 to the half court shot jackpot.

"Lakers Girls"

Zydrunus Igauskus fouls out. Cue "Hit the Road Jack"... how very clever.

Bron Bron leads the Cavs to victory and the crowd files out of the arena like cattle.

Some Lakers fans were talking about how bad the last possesion was when they were down 3 with six seconds and couldn't get a shot off. Some fans were talking about how LeBron out-shined Kobe again. As for me, I was just trying to determine if I was leaving a basketball game or a Vaudville show.

The NBA... "Where Amazing Happens"

4 Completely Unrelated Items of Interest

2008-01-21T18:23:00.000-05:00

First, did you know that Eddie Murphy is a soothsayer?

Second, remember those douches that had the "2 Dix" show on UD tv station (correct me if I'm wrong, but did you guys on Lowes earn the title of "Dix of the Week" once?)?

Anyway, apparently one of them is making it big.

Here's his audition tape for As the World Turns. It gets pretty emotional right around the 2-minute mark, when he recalls his time in prison, and "the big tattoo guy who attacked [him] with a folding chair."

For more Oscar-worthy material, click here and here.

Third, it looks like Doobie, Garman, and myself have signed on for reunion weekend at UD. June 20-22. So everyone else, mark your calendars and fall in line!

Fourth, I added a link to KB's sweet new website.

And here's the link to his imdb entry!

STIPE / YORKE '08

2008-01-17T23:13:00.000-05:00

I check this site fairly regularly and I must admit that I was pleasently surprised to see that "Clarke Bomb" decided to start a blog. I was getting worried that this website would last about as long as Costello's other post-graduation undertaking.

Anyways, I was getting excited about Radiohead's North American Tour this summer and it led me to thinking about how Goldenvoice better not drop the ball and make sure that Radiohead play Coachella. Which led me to thinking about other bands I really want to see playing Coachella, namely REM. Of course, then I searched YouTube and found this....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0O_QD-UZ8M

A few observations...

1. The first thing that came to mind is "What the hell is Michael Stipe wearing?" I'm not exactly sure why, but the outfit he was wearing made me feel very uncomfortable. It was like rubbing sun screen on a guys back... it feels gay, but you know it's not... right?

2. This video makes me think of Schwab... Sitpe with the classic cancer look that Schwab frequented and of course the hip dance that Thom is doing is very Schwabesque. The suglasses Thom is wearing is 100% Sas though.

3. What is that stadium used for when it's not hosting the Tibetan Freedom Cocert? I thought Tibet was only good for skiing. That's not a sadium sport.

4. Does the Tibetan Freedom Concert still exist?

5. I have no idea what was the whole "Free Tibet" movement was/is about.

6. Why did these polically active bands take up the cause?

7. Did their plea work.... is Tibet free at last?

8. Did Bono have anything to do with this?

I'm sure many of the same thoughts and questions ran through your heads as you watched this clip.

Now I'll take this oppurtunity to campaign for a mass Coachella outing this year. I'm sure Clarke, Basford, and I will go again, but some of you eastern time zone folk need to come out. It really is one of my favorite weekends of the year. I know it's a bad weekend for our teaching pals, but some of you have no excuses. I'm looking at you Walker... For God's sake, if you are going to keep your life stuck in neautral, you may as well have the windows down.

I have another blog in mind that I plan on posting in a few days... it's loosely based on Johnthan Swift's "A Modest Proposal" with Jose Canseco as the protagonist. I need to complete my thoughts, but I had a good rift going in my head while driving home today.

Happy Blogging.

- Sas

ps - How do I embed a YouTube clip? The directions from the help page told me to click the "Edit HTML" button. but I don't see that button anywhere... WTF.

Zach Galifianakis and Michael Cera

2008-01-17T01:36:00.000-05:00

Two of the funniest people on the planet in perhaps the most uncomfortably funny video you will ever see.

Also, for those of you keeping score. He's still doing it:

http://www.eurobasket.com/team.asp?Cntry=FRA&Team=341

Dance Dance EPolution

2008-01-03T20:26:00.001-05:00

As I strolled down memory lane (also known as iPhoto), I noticed a trend. And so, I submit to you 4 pictures that I feel portray the evolution of one Patrick Cutter as a lean, mean, dancing machine!

Exhibit A: Daytona Beach circa June 2001

Note the crowd of people surrounding the subject (damn, they're a handsome bunch). Note the accelerated speed of the dancer's left hand, which has blurred beyond recongition, and how it so dramatically contrasts with the dancer's usual dormant style of movement.

Exhibit B: Cleveland circa early July 2007

Note again, a crowd has developed. Also note the blurry effect (in this case, the right leg disappears). But as evidenced below, the dancer makes a critical error in wardrobe.

Exhibit C: Cleveland circa late July 2007

It is here that we see real progress made. The crowd of giggling guys has been replaced by a girl! Also, the dancer has corrected the wardrobe issue from only a few weeks before. And rather than blur himself from view, the dancer grooves at a pace that all can enjoy.

In an unrelated trend, here are two pictures of King and Karas getting served by little kids on the dance floor.

Feel free to contribute comments, additional photo evidence of sweet dance moves...

...and for God's sake, someone else write a blog!!!

UDtube

2007-12-16T17:35:00.000-05:00

Let me preface my blog by saying that I expect all of you lazy asses who read this and have signed up as contribuors to...well...contribute! I'm gonna commit to semi-regular Sunday afternoon blogging. Let's all pitch in so we don't have to just read Sas talking to himself in the comments.

I've got some great ideas for blog entries, including, but not limited to:

- a study on the evolution of EP's dancing (I have a catalog of photographs to draw from)

- an in-depth analysis of the original Wall of Crap quote board (That's right, my friend. I kept it)

But today, I got distracted by a youtube clip sent to me from a fellow flyer that I teach with. And of course, watching one youtube usually turns into a wasted afternoon of chasing the string of videos the site suggests might connect. So, enjoy my path through UDtube:

1. Christmas on Campus - Tis the season to drag little DPS kids around campus (or have them drag us around), and apparently tis the season to go Griswold on your ghetto house:

If you prefer a less festive song, they have a Soulja Boy version too.

2. LowesFest - Clips from LowesFest are slim to none. I suppose that goes along with Sas' regret that we weren't all strapped with digital cameras. Still, there are a few clips from LF 2002, LF 2003, and Superman at LF.

3. Pacman @ UD - This clip is long, but in the way where it's funny, then stupid, then funny again.

But don't confuse it with this video from The Go! Team.

4. How to Pick a College - I sent this to a few of you a few months ago. I just like that the guy credits UD with teaching his how to burn couches for fun. Not just how to burn them. How to do it for fun, as if there's a method of couch burning that isn't fun?

The Inaugural Blog

2007-12-09T17:16:00.002-05:00

Well, my friends, after years of random mass e-mailing, mass e-insulting, and mass e-embarrassment, I've been motivated to start a blog dedicated to simplifying our efforts to stroll down memory lane and ridicule each other.

Only time will tell what this blog will become. At the very least, it'll be another venue to share memories, photos, videos, and classic stories of our hallowed time at UD. It can also be a place to share anything new that's happening at school (like, oh I don't know, a certain basketball team's achievements or ridiculous summer trip sign-up). At the very most, it'll keep us in more consistent contact (so King won't get overemotional when someone emails him).

The name of this page is a reference to the iconic Wall of Crap that graced the stairwell of 301 Stonemill. Just as we stapled random crap and scribbled idiotic quotes on that wall, I hope we'll all contribute the same pointless junk to this blog.

To get the ball rolling, I thought it'd be appropriate to start at the start:

I am always amazed at how someone who was in charge of randomly placing 30 or so freshmen guys on 7 Meyer has had such a huge impact on our lives. The fact that about half of that floor is still living together, traveling together, avoiding the cops together, witnessing weddings, births, and new year's eves together is quite a feat.

Just look at those young faces. The promise they show. The dreams they have. The inadequate character and moral fiber that will lead to their inevitable failure to meet that promise and accomplish those dreams. That's what 7 Meyer was all about!

I invite you all to comment on this picture. Can you name everyone in the picture? Can you name who isn't in the picture? Can you recall everyone's nickname? Can you mock and ricidule everyone in the picture (well, I know we can do that).

Enjoy, and please contribute to the eWall of Crap!

eWall of Crap

They, They're Awesome

Freehold Trailer

2010 Denver NYE

Best Music Videos of 2010

The BroBible..... We did it!!!!!

MOVEMBER is it real?

Bad Idea Show Review: Pitchfork Music Festival in Union Park

My painstakingly researched annual Pitchfork Music Festival review has been posted over at my other blog, complete with pictures, videos, links, and an obscene amount of analogies to Back To the Future. Enjoy!

Bicycles Galore!

Something I Noticed

A KING Amongst Men

MHANTS Ride!!!

Barger's Wedding: Romance in the Rubber City

EP's wedding

Best Music Videos of 2009

Simmons and Sas.... Together at Last

Who's Comin' With Me?

$$$ Cleveland Sucks and I Want Restitution $$$

Sas At It Again!!

Ep at it again!!!!

Decemberists Show

Pitchfork Music Festival Review

I WISH THIS WAS A BEAST COMMERCIAL

2009 Kentucky Moustache Ride

Heeeeeere's Conan

Coachella 2009 - The Review: Saturday

Coachella 2009 - The Review: Friday

re: Coachella 2009 - The Review: Thursday

Coachella 2009 - The Review: Thursday

Kings Long Lost Father?????

Tournament Time

Separated at Birth

Thank God They Don't Have Pittsnogle Anymore

Tony Stanley Never Did This

UD v XU Live Blog **Updated**

Vegas Super Bowl Top Nine Moments

Inexcusable Excuses

Las Vegas Superbowl

Remember Me?

Sas & Clarke appear in the Rocky Mountain News

Best Music Videos of 2008

Separated at Birth

are we human, or are we dancer?

Techno and NASCAR Steve's Room

The Definitive BCS Solution

All Hallow's Eve

Learning the Alphabet: with Mr. Mertle and Jack Brown

Majestic Carribbean Cruise

Pretend Football is Pretend Fun

Potpourri

Is That You, Schwab?

You Mess With the Dragons, You Get Jail Time

Pitchfork Music Festival

Watching Bravo Is Manly

Am I Hot or Not?

I found it

Walker's Top Ten List

Jill's Top Ten List

My Reunion Weekend

Reunion Weekend - Top Ten List

Jam with Weezer

Top 10 Epic Songs of All-Time

Sas runs San Diego Marathon

My Confused Jacket

I Wish I Knew How to Quit You

My Racquetball Partner

Costello Plagiarizes Himself...Ew.

Like Weezer and NKOTB...I'm Back!

The Triumphant Return of the Crime Log

Prime Minister's Questions

Road Trips

Announcing My Presence with Authority

One Shining Moment

Flyers Get Screwed

Tne End of An Era at Kettering

The Quote Board *Updated with "Guess the Speaker" Quiz!

Life Imitating Art

The Official Alumni Weekend Schedule of Events

Here's to you Mrs. Obama

UD v XU Live Blog Updated